Continuation
by Firera
Summary: KotOR. Everyone expects a happy ending after the SF incident, but all doesn't seem to be what it should be. As paranoia attacks Revan, she makes the most unexpected decisions in her life, and the happy ending slips further away. Chapter 11 up!
1. Chapter 1

**Star Wars: Knights of The Old Republic**

**Continuation by Firera**

Disclaimer: I own nothing except for this story and the plot, characters, places, yadda yadda… that I created myself. Don't sue me!

Under the glaring sun of the Rakatan world, a solitary figure stood stiffly looking at the horizon. She had her arms crossed in front of her and her face expressionless. The incidents from the past few months flashed through her mind. The attack on the Endar Spire, the destruction of Taris, the training on Dantooine, Kasyyyk, Korriban, Manaan, Tatooine, the Rakatan planet, the revelation…. Revan's heart leapt at the memory. Even after Malak's death, and with the end of the mission, she still couldn't be in peace.

"Saviour, conqueror, villain, hero… you all of these things, and yet you are nothing, Revan."

Malak's voice droned in her head as she replayed the scene over and over again.

I was the Dark Lord… A murderer, when in my memory…I never killed… 

Her thoughts were so preoccupied that she didn't sense someone looking at her from behind. Bastila placed a hand on her shoulder, "Revan…"

"Huh?" Revan jumped.

"You are thinking about those things again, aren't you?"

Revan nodded her head and heaved a sigh. "You don't understand Bastila, it's too hard for me to remember. Everything I know are lies." She stopped for a moment. "At least Malak had regretted some of his deeds when he was dying."

Bastila grimaced at Malak's name. She remembered too well how she went to the dark side. She believed in his coaxing, and gave in to his tortures. " You are to generous to forgive someone who betrayed you and tried to kill you. I find it hard to believe that someone would even care for him."

Revan looked into Bastila's eyes. "I'm not the Dark Lord anymore, Bas. I can't hate him for something I don't remember happening. In fact, I remember nothing." She looked away from Bastila.

Bastila saw the emptiness in the older woman's eyes. Revan's posture had no resemblance to the over-confident one that she had on the swoop track in Taris. The younger Jedi was going to speak again when Revan asked,

"How is he?"

Bastila understood immediately.

"He shows no expression, but from his aura I feel the hurt and anger. Other than that, he seems to be fine." Bastila saw Revan bit her lower lip.

"He'll be fine Bastila. Don't worry." Revan returned to her silent reverie after giving her a reassuring glance.

After hesitating for a moment, Bastila asked, "How about you, Revan? Why…why did you do it?"

"I think of it as the best thing that I can do for him. The Council will not approve of us, and I'm in the Republic's blacklist. And most importantly, the code disallows love."

Bastila couldn't find the words to comfort her. She knew that despite the show that Revan was putting on, and her efforts of trying to block her from her emotions, she was unhappy.

She watched the older woman who was staring at the blue ocean, and shook her head slightly.

**Rakatan beach, Two nights ago**

_Revan was strolling down the beach, thinking thoughtfully as usual. It had become a habit after the mission, and it seemed that she wasn't going to be rid of it for a long time. The wind blew softly at her and the hems of her robes fluttered. The soft melody of the waves clashing was unheard by her, as she walked on absentmindedly._

_A sudden explosion of fireworks distracted her and she lifted her head momentarily to admire the coloured sparks contrasting with the dark night sky._

"_They're still celebrating… happy." She mumbled to herself. She felt queer during the victory celebration. There were a mixture of feelings that attacked her while she stood bravely in front of the cheering crowd. _

_Sorrow, shame, awe, and pride had invaded her. _

"_I'm a hero." Revan chuckled. "This is ridiculous. The Dark Lord becomes the hero of the galaxy. Now that's something that doesn't happen every day."_

_Her mind wandered back to the scene where Malak laid dying on the Star Forge. _

I'm sorry for leading you down to the path of darkness, but you chose to continue on.

_She wanted Malak to live. Revan didn't know why. She hadn't felt anger nor hatred, but pure sorrow and regret at the things she didn't remember doing. _

_The woman rubbed the scar on her left hand, and continued with her thoughts._

_Suddenly, Revan felt Carth walking towards her. She didn't smile, nor did she turn to greet him. Her eyes were shut tight and her head was lowered to her chest, as if trying to endure some extreme pain._

I have to do it, now or never.

"_Hey there, beautiful." Pain nibbled at her heart. Usually she would be happy to hear his voice, but not that night._

_Revan turned around to look at him. He was tipsy from drinking at the celebration. Carth stopped immediately when he saw the grave expression on her face._

"_What's wrong?"_

"_Nothing."_

_Carth's brow snapped together at once. "You're lying."_

_Revan looked at the ocean and chose not to speak. Carth moved forward and held her close to him. He then gently touched her chin, and made her look at him in the eyes. _

"_What's wrong?" His voice was soft and full of concern when he repeated the question. The pain in Revan's heart grew even stronger._

I have to do it.

"_Us."_

_Carth stiffened at the single syllable. "What do you mean by 'us'?"_

_Revan sighed and rubbed her arms as if she was cold. She had never expected this to be this hard._

"_Us, as in we can't be together… I… "_

"_Is this what the Jedi Council told you to say to me?" Carth's frown grew deeper._

"_No. It's my decision. I… I need time to think. I'm not ready, Carth."_

"_Then I'll wait, until you are ready." He held her tighter, but Revan pushed him away. The hurt expression on his face made her feel guilty._

"_No, Carth. Don't you understand? I don't think I'll ever be ready. I don't want commitment to anyone. I cannot … love you. I'm… sorry…"_

"_What are you doing?" Confusion, sympathy and sorrow twirled in Carth's mind as he tried to interpret what she just said._

_Revan knew this was getting to nowhere and that she had to end the conversation now, or she'll break in front of him._

"_With Malak's death, and the Star Forge destroyed, my quest is over, and I had time to think properly about that things that happened. I said I loved you, probably…" Revan shook her head. "I thought I love you. But when I had time to think, I realised that I didn't have any feelings for you…. I realised that I had just wanted to grab hold onto something, something to make me not fall and continue on living through those terrible days alone. Searching for those maps wasn't easy, and I was afraid of being alone."_

_Carth took a step backwards and stared at her in disbelief. He was confused, and the many drinks he had made him even more confused. Anger rose inside him._

"_You're lying." _

"_No, Carth. Not this time. I have no reason to lie." Revan crossed her fingers behind her back._

"_You mean you have never felt anything for me? And it was just a lie… that you loved me? And I was just a decoy to distract you from killing yourself?"_

_Revan forced herself to nod her head._

Bravo Revan. You hit the jackpot. Hit him where he hurts most. Make him believe you have betrayed his trust.

"_I'm sorry, Carth." Unable to stand it any longer, Revan turned and walked back to the Temple in a somewhat hurried manner. The tears streamed down her face and the nagging pain in her heart made her hands tremble. She had to be away from the others, since no one had ever seen her cry, and she wasn't going to let anyone get the first chance._

_Carth stood rooted to the spot. He gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. The veins throbbed in his temples as he tried to clear his mind. The more he tried to analyse what had just happened, the angrier he got._

"_You Force-damned liar!" He yelled. He felt betrayed. Betrayed again._

_Revan continued walking on, never turning back._


	2. Chapter 2

Continuation Chapter 2 Edited Version

Sister

The sun had almost faded from view, but its golden rays still shone dimly, enough to illuminate the saddened face of the former Sith Lord that stood on the pinnacle of the temple tower. Revan stared at the ocean, unmoving, the pain in her eyes evident as her frown deepened.

"Life is like the ocean, beautiful yet unpredictable." She whispered.

Bastila studied Revan; her stoic pose and the emotions that she barely held back. Revan felt her probing, but said nothing of it. The slight caress with the Force from her bond mate was comforting enough in its own way.

"You still love him." Bastila stated. "No matter what you said to him back there."

Revan remained quiet. Bastila added. "You're doing this because you do, not because you don't."

The taller woman's gaze returned to Bastila. A small smile appeared on her lips. "Sometimes I wonder if I should despise you or the bond between us. You read me like a book."

Bastila chuckled. "I can't read you like a book. It's just … obvious, to me that is. Since your face is scrunched up like a kinrath pup's. "

Revan laughed. The first genuine laugh that anyone had probably haven't heard in a long time "Not funny. That was my line!" She smiled at the younger woman.

But her partner resumed a stern look, silently demanding for a confirmation.

And Revan gave in.

"Fine, fine. Don't need you hounding me for the rest of my life. But you swear, you must not tell him about it. That man has enough paranoia to fill any planet."

Bastila nodded.

Revan tapped her own forehead, searching for the right words without making herself look like a confused child, which she certainly felt like at the moment.

After a deep breath, she breathed out.

"I'm scared, Bastila."

Bastila's expression was of disbelief and appal. Revan had never shown fear in battle, nor have she openly admitted it.

"I don't want him to be hurt, just because of me.

"Your fall was only known amongst Jedi. Mine…need I say more? I've made enemies through out my whole life, it seems. And even more during my reign as Dark Lord. There are many who would want me dead, or suffer in any way possible. The Sith will never forgive a traitor. I will be hunted down until I'm dead."

Her companion listened in understanding silence.

"Honestly, I don't mind the hatred, or the danger I'm in. I deserved it, in any case. I'm not afraid for myself. I'm just afraid for Carth." She paused. "Think about it, Bas. The most painful way to hurt me would be to hurt Carth. He doesn't deserve any hostility just because of me. He's done no wrong." Revan looked at her friend. "He has so much to offer, but I have so little to give. Perhaps just warmth in his bed –"

"But-" Bastila attempted to cut in, but stalled when Revan raised her hand.

"Emotional damage is far worse than physical damage, Bas. Force forbid, but if anything happened to him, or any of you, I don't think I can handle it. Not now."

The shorter Jedi stood there in silence, contemplating the things she just said. Revan glanced at her bond mate for a moment, and continued. "I'll just tarnish his reputation anyways, perhaps breaking what's left of the relationship he has with his son. It'll do more good than bad to leave him, Bastila."

Bastila finally nodded, and rested her hand on Revan's shoulder. "If you think that is best for him. But in my opinion, you should ponder if it is best for you too, my friend. Do not think that we do not see your struggles."

A short chuckle came from the former lord. "I seriously need to buff up my force skills."

_Damn you, Revan, for being a complete soft-hearted moron. Where is that legendary calmness and brilliance that people keep mentioning? Was it all just a fluke, like how you are now?_

It felt better, to finally talk to someone about what she had decided upon. The sleepless nights she went through, trying not to let her thoughts wander back to the days when they were all at their happiest; or trying not to sense the anger and disappointment that was radiating from Carth's room enough to drive any Force sensitive crazy with all the emotions running about.

But she knew her problems were not the biggest at the moment. Looking at Bastila, she noted the telltale strands of white hair appearing near her friend's temples. The recent events had not been kind to her younger colleague. Malak's torture and her subsequent fall to the dark side had left its mark on her. Bastila had been having nightmares, projecting it in their bond without realising it. And Revan sought not to mention about it, respecting the younger Jedi's need for privacy.

The silence broke once again when Bastila asked, "What will you do once we return to Coruscant?"

Revan snapped out of her thoughts and looked at her for a moment before registering what she had said. "I don't know. Life's not going to be easier, that's for sure. It's the beginning of a whole new journey for me right now." She paused. "I've thought about…trying to regain some of my memories. But I doubt that it's a plausible idea. I do not know what might happen."

The former Sith noticed Bastila's left eye twitched a little at the mention of her past. She understood this from the time they've journeyed together that this was a sign that the woman was agitated or uncomfortable. It was so easy to read each other's movement nowadays, even without the aid of the bond between them.

"I…I suppose it is the same for me. If I had not been weak…So many have died…because of me."

"Shush, Bastila, shush. What's done was done." Guilt. How this emotion had managed to break down the stoic, proud Jedi she met on Taris baffles her. The seemingly unmovable Jedi princess, has finally been broken.

But to what extent?

Revan sighed as she patted Bastila's small shoulder. "What we can do now is to make amends for the things we did. It won't erase the past, but at least we have the future to look forward to, eh?"

_Really, Revan? Do you truly believe that there will be a future for _you_? It may work for others, but never forget, you are the reason the galaxy is in its state right now._

Bastila nodded, tears in her eyes, but the glimmer of hope evident in them. Revan envied her for being able to still trust that there will be a life for her in the future; she wished she could do the same.

"I consider you as a sister, Bas. We've been through thick and thin together. It makes sense if we continue to fight for ourselves together now, and in the future."

The next thing that Bastila did could probably be said to be the most shocking thing she'd seen the smaller Jedi do in the time they knew each other. Bastila moved forward and held her in a tight embrace, one to which Revan had no idea how to respond to. In the end, she managed to come to her senses and returned the gesture.

"And I you, sister." Bastila muttered.

When the younger Jedi released her, Revan had a small smile on her face. There was understanding between them now. Perhaps the barrier that was once constructed between them was no longer. It was comforting in many ways to know that despite the revelation of things and the inability of hers to adapt to the situation, there was someone she could rely on.

Revan suddenly felt a presence she knew too well, and gave Bastila a wink, before facing the direction of the source of the presence.

"Shame on you, you old man. I never knew you liked to listen to girl talk."

A short snort and a low growl later, Jolee emerged from the doorway, looking disgruntled at being discovered. "Haven't anyone taught you about manners, lass? You should respect your elders!"

Revan laughed out loud. "Ha! Respect for the eavesdropper, you say?"

"Now you-"

"Don't need to get your knickers in a notch, old man. I was just joking."

Jolee huffed and crossed his arms on his chest, eyeing the two women critically. "The Council sent me to let you young ones know that they want to see you. Sent me as a message boy. Hmph. What will they have me do next? Take a shower?"

"It's time? I didn't expect them to want to see us so soon." Bastila was evidently nervous.

Revan rested her hand on Bastila's shoulder again and gave her a slight squeeze. "I thought they'd want to deal with this soon enough."

She walked through the corridors of the star ship with Bastila. The echoes from their boots hitting onto the floor were grating to her ears, but she pushed the feelings aside. There were lack of soldiers and Jedi on board, making the empty corridors seem foreboding.

They came to a metallic orange door and looked at it for a moment before glancing at each other for a moment. Bastila gripped Revan's hand in reassurance. "Now or never."

They cannot turn back.

"Now or never." Revan muttered, and stepped forward into the room once the door opened.

Revan walked straight to the middle of the hall and bowed. Bastila followed suit. There were surprisingly quite a number of Jedi Masters in there. Some who came to aid in the attack on the Star Forge, and some who came purposely for this meeting.

All eyes watched them, studied them. Revan sensed disdain from some of them, but paid no attention to it. After bowing, she spoke, "You asked for us, Masters?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Continuation Chapter 3 Edited Version**

Calmness filled her as she recited the code under her breath. Revan lifted the makeshift blade over her head, her knees bent, ready to dash forward, attacking her opponent at anytime.

_There is no emotion, there is peace._

Her bare feet dug deeper into the sandy beach as she leaned her weight forward to move slowly, circling her target. The other woman did the same, and the silence around them was almost too unnatural.

The two women had their eyes fixed on each other; their breaths slow and steady.

_She felt the intense scrutiny from the Jedi Masters in the room, and made it a point to stand straight with her head held high. She had no reason to fear them. Her hands clasped behind her firmly. Any show of vulnerability was not permissible._

_There is no ignorance, there is knowledge._

She swung the weapon above her head. Her concentration fully on her opponent's movements. The blade came slashing down.

"_Padawans, The council has summoned the both of you for some… crucial matters."_

Her opponent dodged. Barely.

_The younger woman had an emotionless mask on, but the former Lord knew inside, she was trembling with nervousness on the verdict. She was forgiven, but retraining was still in consideration, and she would have to meditate on her ways. The older woman saw her shoulders slump._

She Force Jumped, dodging a blow that was aimed at her legs. After a successful somersault in the air, her opponent went for her torso.

V_andar turned to her. She remained rigid. "It is difficult, to decide on what we should do to you. You are her, but her no longer. Great things you have done. And you should well know that the person you are now, was not created or programmed by us, it is you, your very own self."_

Her blade came down again. Her battle cry rang in the air, startling a number of birds, causing them to fly off in panic.

_There is no passion, there is serenity_.

_He stopped for a moment, and looked at the other Masters. "We… are glad, for the path you chose, even when you had the chance to reclaim your title as Darth Revan again. You have deemed yourself worthy as a Jedi."_

Her opponent dodged. Barely...again. She called to the Force.

_There is no chaos, there is harmony._

_The other Masters nodded their heads in agreement, but Vandar continued. "Yet, it is decided too that you return to Coruscant for further your training."_

Why can't they just straightforwardly tell me they want to keep an eye on me?

"_If that is the Council's wish." She bowed her head slightly. "I thank you for a chance to redeem myself, Council."_

With the Force she pushed her opponent into the water. The other woman growled as she emerged disgruntled and thoroughly soaked. A smirk appeared on the former Sith's face. The setting sun shone on the surface of the beach, causing a warm, orangey effect.

The clashing sounds of the waves hitting the rocks echoed in her head. "Peace." She muttered under her breath and raised the blade again.

_Master Vandar smiled at her. "We believe that you will do your best to redeem yourself. Your honesty makes us believe so. But even though redeemed, you were the Dark Lord once. It is extremely difficult for us to decide if we should sentence you. How can we punish one who does not even remember her past and is the opposite of her former self? And you have done much; sacrificed much, for the Republic. We are still pondering. The Council cannot give a definite answer… yet."_

Her blade came down again. Her opponent tried to parry the blow. With a swift flick of her wrist, she changed her blade's course. It went for the abdomen. This time, her aim was true.

_The two women bowed, and left the Council. Murmurs arose once they were out of sight._

_There is no death, there is the Force._

She smiled. The blade stopped inches away from her opponent. The human woman dropped the blade onto the sandy ground, and bowed.

The Cathar in front of her seemed satisfied. She bowed back. "Your techniques are… artful."

The former scout grinned. "Your techniques are not bad too."

_A Master spoke, " Was is right to have done what we did to that child? I sense much confusion and suppressed sorrow in her."_

The two friends walked back to the Hawk.

_Vrook stood up. "I understand the concern for her. But when we decided to replace her memory with another, we __were__ aware of the consequences. What has been done is done. We cannot change the past; just as she cannot change who she was. There will be much for her to do in the future, as a Jedi, and as a Republican."_

The ramp closed. The sun returned to its slumber.


	4. Chapter 4

Again, I would like to state that I do not own any of the KoTOR characters and none of the places except for a few exceptions, which are created by me.

A/N: The italics did not show up in the first few sentences in the last chapter. But I guess you'll be able to figure out which one's the past and which one's the present.

I would like to thank those who had reviewed my story. Thank You! :: Bows::

Let the reading begin!

* * *

Vision

Revan threw her things into her footlocker and plopped onto her own bed in the Ebon Hawk. She recalled the meeting with the Council and closed her eyes. 

_That meeting was damn uncomfortable._

Then she remembered the slight uneasiness she had felt from the Jedi in that room.

_What did I do when I was a monster?_

She forced herself to remember. All that had appeared in her mind was the memories the Council had given her. A headache began to grow. She admitted defeat and sat up.

Something blue walked into the quarters and Revan raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, hi Revan." The "blue meat bag with a repugnant attitude" as HK-47 had described, greeted her with a monotonous and ennui voice. Revan chuckled at the memory and was glad that the T'wilek had not heard HK's assertion, or else a bloody fight would have happened.

" Hi Mission." Revan replied. She gave a small smile and asked. " Bored out of your headtails…. Kid?"

Mission who was lying on her own bunk answered absent-mindedly. " Yeah, everything's the same here. The beach, the trees, no adventure, unless you count chasing after gizkas. Big Z's fur is getting really weird. I think it has something to do with the air here…" Then it dawned on her.

" What did you just called me?"

Revan's smile turned into a big cheeky grin.

" Hmm, I don't know."

She paused for a moment and touched her chin with a finger. Her face was screwed up as if trying to remember.

" Kid?"

" I'M NOT A KID!" Mission stood up immediately. Her face turned into a shade of purple. Revan sped out of the quarters with an angry T'wilek on her tail. Her laughter echoed through the corridors.

Being amused by their childish antics, Zaalbar Juhani and Jolee also laughed along. Canderous seemed amused. His lips twitched a little, trying to keep a neutral expression. Revan laughed even harder when she saw this while running pass him. T3 beeped happily after her. HK shook his metal head at their childish gestures. He could not understand why " meatbags" chase each other for fun when you can just blast them into smithereens.

Revan wasn't looking when she ran into something soft and nearly fell on her rear. A firm hand reached out to grab her by the waist to stop her from falling. She gasped and looked up.

Carth was towering over her. The laughter ceased in her throat and the meeting room was unpleasantly silent. He did not let go of her at once, but his gaze bored into her eyes. Revan reluctantly made an effort to push him away.

" Sorry. And thanks. Wasn't looking where I was going."

Carth grunted in response and walked towards the cockpit. Revan was going to leave the Ebon Hawk when he spoke.

"We're leaving for Coruscant in two days. Everyone should start packing." He then headed to where he was going.

Revan turned and walked out of the Hawk.

Jolee looked at Juhani and whispered. " Those two has some serious issues." He was worried about them, especially Revan.

* * *

Carth had not seen Revan for the past few days. He had been busy helping out with the repairs on the starfighters. Hard labour wasn't his idea of relaxing after months of strenuous fighting and searching for the Star Maps, but it was the only way to stop him from thinking about her. Pain and anger gripped at his heart when he thought about what she had said. He fiddled around with the controls in the cockpit.

Back on the beach that very night, Carth realised how much he had loved her, and still do. He saw how different she had become. She was quieter, more thoughtful than her usual self. Her playing around with Mission was only a hint of her former self.

Carth rubbed his temples. _I've got to stop thinking about her._

_ You can't. _His heart told him.

" Maybe you're right." He looked more closely at his reflection on the glass.

" Lord, I need a shave."

* * *

Revan sat crossed legged on the floor of the room with the swoop bike in it. Her eyes were closed and she was deep in meditation. Canderous and HK had left the room to give her some peace and quiet. She felt calm, and collected. The Force swirled around her.

Suddenly, she found herself standing on the observation deck in the Star Forge.

" Revan." A hoarse voice came from behind.

She turned around, and to her disbelief, she saw Malak standing just right behind her.

His jaw was back on. He looked younger and better than the last time she saw him.

" Malak…" Revan whispered. She was trying to figure out what was happening.

" You're dead… why…"

Malak had a warm smile on his face. He was going to say something when...

" Revan?" Juhani's voice disturbed Revan. She opened her eyes immediately.

" Huh?"

" Sorry to interrupt you. But we are going to land anytime soon. You'd better be prepared."

Revan nodded her head and stood up. _This is weird…_

She shrugged the vision off and went to get her things.

* * *

The spaceport was full of people. Most of them were the fans of " The Republic Heroes." They were waving banners and stuff with lines such as "We Love You!", " My Hero!". The pandemonium was unbelievable. Everyone tried to have a glimpse at the Ebon Hawk's crew.

" _I hate all this noise."_ Zaalbar growled. Mission was awestruck. Jolee, Juhani and Bastila kept their cool and waved to the crowd. Canderous looked around himself in disbelief, " Me, hero?"

_"Where's Revan?"_ growled Zaalbar. When he noticed Revan's absence. " _She was with us at the exit a_ _little while ago._"

" Conformation: Yes, Master was indeed with us a little while ago, hairy meatbag. And may I state that it is a wonder that a meatbag would even notice the Master's absence." HK responded.

Zaalbar was advancing to tear the metal head off HK when Mission said, " Prob she forgot to get something." She was waving to the crowd and had a ridiculously big grin was on her face.

Little did they know Revan was in stealth and standing on top of the ramp. She looked at the dark sky at shook her head at the crowd.

_I'm getting outta here._

" Not running away, are we?" Jolee teased.

" How did you know I was here?" Revan asked with annoyance in her voice.

" Show some respect kid." Jolee frowned at the invincible Revan. " I'm a Jedi. I can sense you."

" You sound astonishingly like Bastila back on the temple, you know." She grinned.

" Father!" Revan's attention was distracted from Jolee. She turned and saw a tall, dark haired teenager pushing through the tightly knitted crowd.

" Dustil!" Carth exclaimed. He had not expected this at all and ran towards the struggling boy. Dustil finally got out of the crowd which where being held back by the police force. He stumbled on something and fell. Carth managed to catch him before he hit the ground. This resulted an accidental embrace between the father and son. Some of the women in the crowd were excited by that scene and some screamed. " I want the father!" or " I want the son!" or " AAHH!!!"

Revan smiled warmly at the father and son. Jolee sensed her smile and picked on her.

" Now that would be a perfect family if you were in it, wouldn't it?"

Revan blushed and replied curtly. " Leave me alone." She turned her heels and walked back into the Ebon Hawk.

" Father!" Dustil panted while releasing himself from his father's arms. " That's a whole bunch of mad people!" He was slightly embarrassed from hugging his father. Carth was blushing too.

" Dustil! I thought you were in Telos?" He pulled his son towards a much more open space, somewhere near the Ebon Hawk crew. They both looked at the crowd and laughed at the commotion made by them. The tension that existed between them during their last meeting at Korriban seemed less… tense.

" I heard that " The Heroes" would be back on Coruscant today. So I came here yesterday. Besides, there's nothing much to do in Telos." A tinge of sadness was in Dustil's voice.

" I understand son. I'm glad you came."

Carth introduced Dustil to the Ebon Hawk crew. Dustil looked around and asked. " Where's the other Jedi, Father? The other one who was with you on Korriban?"

Carth avoided the question. " We should get going. The noise is giving me a headache. You're staying us, aren't you?" Dustil sensed something wrong, but nodded his father question. _Something's wrong._

Revan had to sneaked out of the spaceport with the help of Jolee and Juhani. She took off stealth generator hanging on her hips when she was behind closed doors in the hotel room. She took a deep breath and sat on the edge of her bed. Rooms were booked for each of the crewmembers, not counting the two droids. Revan was glad about that. She wanted to be alone. The concerned looks from her friends made her felt uneasy even though she appreciated it.

" Time for some sleep." She said to herself and jumped onto her bed.

* * *

I hope that was long enough.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Ok, usual routine. I do not own any of the Star Wars characters, places, thingamajigs and etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, which all belong to Mr. Lucas.

* * *

Realisation

The darkness in his room was a stark contrast to the neon lights on the streets below. His clothes, bags and datapad were scattered around the room. The battle armour was piled up on a vacant chair, his viroblades carelessly thrown onto the floor. He had turned off his communicator, which was unceremoniously stuffed in between some dirty laundry in a corner of the room.

Carth was sprawled out on the bed, fresh from the refresher. He ignored the fact that he was soaking his pillow with his wet hair. A small smile tugged at his lips. _Dustil came to see me. That feels so good._

Images of him carrying a baby Dustil, holding a toddler Dustil's hand flashed through his mind. _He's a man now. I'm back with him, thanks to Revan... _ His eyes narrowed into slits.

"Revan…"

Dustil had bombarded Carth with questions about her, all which he tactfully avoided answering. He asked about her whereabouts, about why Carth isn't talking about her. Carth had forgotten how curious and full of questions children can be. But Dustil was not a kid anymore.

"Revan…" He hissed the name again.

_I don't want to think about her._ He covered his head with another pillow. _ Shit. Why am I thinking about her? _He threw away the pillow and sat up._ Damn it Rev. What are you doing to me? _A hand dug into his hair. _Oh Force. I love her so much. _

"Stop thinking about her, Onasi! She's a liar! She's turning you into a raving lunatic!" He threw his towel while shouting. Carth looked around the room, looking for something to do, something to put her out of his mind. Nothing. Carth sighed.

_"I…I realised that I had just wanted to grab hold onto something so to make myself continue on living through those terrible days." _A desperate looking Revan emerged in his mind.

"Yeah right. Something to hold onto." He breathed out cynically. Then his eyes widened. _A desperate looking Rev? No, no way. That doesn't fit in. _He closed his eyes tightly, fingers rubbing his temples. He was trying to remember.

It was a desperate looking Rev. She was fidgeting; something she'd do only when she was agitated and she was tugging at her earlobes. Definitely not what she would normally do.

_No way. Rev's never looked desperate, not even in a life and death situation. _He rubbed his temples harder.

_"I said I loved you too, probably… I thought I loved you."_

His eyes snapped open wide, and he growled. "I'm so stupid! Revan never stumbles with words!" Carth got out of his bed immediately and started to dress himself. He opened his door while trying to get an arm through a sleeve.

"Oh yeah you lied to me Rev, you lied to me about not loving me." He stormed down the blue corridor and headed for Revan's room.

Carth stopped before a room with a sign saying 'Do Not Disturb' and with a line 'Or Else' added beneath the first. "Or else what, Rev? Or else what?" he hissed through gritted teeth. A hand was raised to knock on the door when someone spoke.

"You don't want to do that, young man."

"Keep yourself out of this, old man."

Carth suddenly flew backwards, and landed a few feet away from Revan's door. "Jolee! What in the Force did you do that for?" He groaned and rubbed his hips.

Jolee walked towards him and offered him his hand. Pulling Carth up, he grunted. "Serves you right, you idiot. I'll keep out of this when you start to think rationally. Now, follow me. You know better than to wake that woman when she's sleeping. I don't want a rampaging rancor biting our heads off. Don't you remember the last time Mission woke her up when she was snoring like nobody's business? She nearly tore the whole damned woman's quarters apart!"

They had reached a big balcony when Jolee finally stopped talking. Carth chuckled. It wasn't as bad as Jolee had put it. Revan had simply not been sleeping for two days and when she finally got to get some sleep, Mission foolishly threw a bucket of water on her. The room got pretty messy when Mission started to throw things at Revan who was trying to get her hands on her. Poor kid, she spent the whole night cleaning the room and drying the mattress with a hairdryer.

Carth unconsciously perched himself on the railing, and grinned like a schoolboy. Jolee sat on a garden bench and breathed in the midnight air. The wind was blowing softly, and the leaves gave a melodious rustle.

"So you finally figured it out, didn't you?

Carth furrowed his brow and turned to Jolee. "You knew all this time and you didn't tell me? Why, thank you, old man."

"It's not my place to tell you anything. It's her decision and hers alone. I thought you'd have figured it out really soon, but I see I'm wrong." Jolee frowned back at Carth. "And I'm not supposed to know."

Carth arched an eyebrow. "You're not? So everything's confirmed. Then why didn't you allow me to confront her?"

The old man shook his head and snapped at him. "Oh why must you young people nowadays be so ignorant? Can't you see? She's having a hard time accepting herself, and she's trying to protect you from herself and from harm. Uh uh…" he raised a finger to stop Carth from protesting.

"I know you don't need protection and certainly not from her. But if she feels more comfortable this way, then let her be."

"And let her suffer all by herself?"

"I didn't say to leave her alone for good. Stay by her as a friend. Respect her decisions and show her that nothing's hurting you, especially not her. She's a defected Sith Lord. You know what that means."

Carth nodded his head in silence. "So what should I do now?"

"Damn it! Haven't you been listening? Women are very complex creatures. They sometimes say what's not in their heart. Follow her decision, but stay by her. She has fears. Then show her that she has nothing to fear. Show her that you really love her. You said you'd wait right? Then wait!" All of this came out in a rush. Jolee thumped his chest while taking deep breaths. " Are you trying to kill me or what?"

Carth lowered his head. "I suppose you are right. I'll just have to play along."

Jolee shook his head again. "I don't know why she even bothered to do this. She'd know that you'll figure out sooner or later. All those revelations are really getting into her head. Heck. She's even more demented than me."

Carth shot him a humoured look and raised his eyebrows at him.

The old man cleared his throat and stood up. "Well, go get some sleep. It's too soon to change her mind. And you'd need the strength to convince her to do so. I need my old man's sleep. Good night. And don't you dare go to her room. I'm not going to help you if you get into trouble!"

Carth looked at Jolee's retreating back and smiled. "Thank you, Jolee."

_I'm going to get her back. If that's the last thing I do._

* * *

Plutospawn: A very BIG thank you to you for beta-reading my fic for me. BIG HUG!

Winterfox: Thanks for pointing out my mistakes!

Trunx: About Malak. Well, we'll see, we'll see.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Ok, usual routine…again. I do not own any of the Star Wars characters, places, thingamajigs and etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, which all belong to Mr. Lucas.

Another huge thanks to plutospawn for beta-reading this. :D And thank you to those who reviewed! Keep it coming!

* * *

Revealed 

Dustil sat sulking on one of the chairs in his room. The attempt to make his father talk had been futile. He couldn't understand, that is, how could a pair of good friends completely ignore each other? He had seen them conversing with each other with perfect ease when they were in the Sith academy._ Mad people…totally mad._

Of course, he was left in the dark. None had told him of what had happened. His mind wandered back to his father. He didn't really understand why he had chose to come to see his father himself. All of the misgivings and anger he had towards Carth seemed to have dissolved partially when he realised his own faults.

Thinking of his past, he came to understand a little about what his father had tried to do. Carth may not have been there most of the time in his life, but he made up for it whenever he was on leave. He remembered once, a very long time ago back in Telos, that Carth had spent the whole night trying to fix a broken toy of his even though he was very tired.

Tears welled up when he thought of his mother, and how loving both his parents were. He had went to visit her grave when he was back in Telos, and for many hours he had sat in front of the cool hard slab, staring at his mother's picture. He seemed to have had a vision, of his mother telling him to forgive his father. Then he woke up, to find himself actually having had had a dream.

He found himself loving his father, even with the thick miasma of hatred that had wrapped around his heart. He tried to will himself into hating his father again, but to no avail. Dustil had made up his mind to forgive his father, and to give him another chance._ I can't hate Father. I just can't. But…but he neglected me. Ah… what am I talking about? He came back for me. I can't hate him. Can I?_

Someone knocked on his door. Dustil turned his brown eyes to observe the chronometer that hung on his wall. Two hours past midnight. _ Who can that be?_

A hushed voice came through his door. "Dustil! Are you still awake?"

He walked languidly towards his door, and opened it. A grinning Mission stood before him, with Zaalbar towering over her. "Hey Dustil! Want to go… What's wrong? You look like someone forced you to eat tonnes of bantha fodder."

Dustil tried to keep his face straight at that remark. "Nothing. Just couldn't get my father to talk about what happened between him and that Jedi."

"Oh, about them. I don't know…Stop looking at me like that. I ain't telling you nothing."

"Come on, Mission. You've got to tell me! You know what happened." Dustil stepped back when he saw Zaalbar advancing at him menacingly. "Nice Wookiee… nice Wookiee. I didn't mean any harm. I was just asking." Then he turned to look at Mission again. " Please? You know how it feels to be left in the dark, don't you?"

"Well, I er…I … It's none of my business and I don't know much! Stop looking at me like that with those puppy eyes! I ain't telling!" Mission tried to wrench herself free from Dustil's grasp. "Zaalbar, no!" The Wookiee was snarling and trying to attack Dustil. "Tearing his head off won't do anything! Please Dustil! Carth and Revan would kill me if I talked about it… oh oh." Horror was evident in her eyes. "Me and my big mouth…"

Dustil released Mission's arm almost immediately. He blinked a couple of times before what Mission had said could register into his brain. His voice was hardly audible. "Revan? You mean 'that' Revan?"

_"You've got yourself into deep trouble Mission." _Zaalbar growled.

"I… ah… Well, uh, yes. That Revan." The blue Twi'lek stammered. Then her courage returned to her. "You got a problem with that?"

"No wonder Father didn't want to talk about her! She's that witch who blew up my home world! And you're asking me if I've got a problem with that?" Dustil exploded.

"Zaalbar, no! Dustil please calm down. It is not how you think it was. She didn't blow up Telos! Carth doesn't hate her!" Mission tried to hold Zaalbar back while she shouted back at Dustil. A few residents on the same floor opened the door and started cursing them for making so much noise.

Mission grabbed hold onto Dustil's arm and pulled him into the room. Zaalbar followed them and closed the door.

Dustil narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean by my Father not hating Revan?"

"Revan didn't bomb Telos into a junkyard. Malak did. Saul did. Please calm down and listen." Mission tried to explain to the fuming teenager in front of her.

Confusion swept over Dustil. It was not understandable. He took several deep breaths and placed a hand onto his forehead. "Mother…"

Mission looked at him with understanding. Her voice was softer. "She didn't bomb Telos, Dustil. She blew up lots of planets before but she didn't blow up Telos. She's a complete different person now."

"How can a beast be tamed?" Dustil looked at her with anger in his eyes. "How different can she be?"

_"You shall speak with more respect of Revan or you'll lose a limb or two, boy_._" _Zaalbar barked at Dustil.

Mission looked at Zaalbar disapprovingly. "He's being a jerk because he doesn't know anything about her." She gave him an angry look.

"Hey! Then what about you? You were a Sith too. I can swear to you that she's totally different now. Look, if it wasn't for her, you'd still be a cocky Sith idiot walking around in Korriban! And I've got one question for you. She can't even remember her past, how can she still be Revan?"

"_A person without his or her memory can still be evil Mission."_

"Leave it to me will you, Big Z?" The Twi'lek retorted.

Dustil gave her another curious glance. "What do you mean by she can't remember her past?" Mission walked to a chair and sat down. "She's been mind-wiped. Everything in her past? Kaput." She did a gesture with her hands.

The boy choked. "She should have been dead." Mission frowned. "Yeah, she deserved to die when she was the Dark Lord. But look at her now. You'd never believe that she was a mass murderer if you didn't know who she really was. She's saved so many and brightened up so many lives. She even risked her life to save a bunch of Jawas."

Dustil listened intently. Mission continued on by telling him about Revan's good deeds. Dustil's eyes widened. Deep in his mind he wondered, how can a person be _that_ good?

"She's like the sister I never had. Heck, if it wasn't because of her I might be dead by now, or somebody's slave. If she hadn't taken me along, I would have been killed in the Taris bombing."

Dustil looked at the floor. He couldn't find the words. "I…I thought she was a nice person when I saw her back in Korriban. I don't know… it's hard to accept this… after all I know about her. But she helped me and Father. I…I need time… to see for myself."

Mission shrugged her shoulders and said. "Suits you. But I'm sticking to her. Oh yeah, now I remember what I came for. You still want to go out with us?"

Dustil looked at her rather thoughtfully. "At this hour? Sure."


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I don't own anything but my imagination and a few exceptions in the story. 

A big thanks go to Plutospawn for doing all the cleaning up. You go girl!

And thanks to those who reviewed. Keep'em coming! They're highly appreciated! 

Trunxluvr82190- You're welcome. Heh heh.The next chapter may be able to solve the little mystery _a little_. 

* * *

Duty Calls 

_ Damn, this place is huge. _

Standing there all by herself amidst the bustling streets of Coruscant, Revan lifted her carefully hooded head to look at the magnificent white marbled building in front of her. The awe and respect for the builders washed over her. She walked slowly up the gargantuan stairs of the Memorial Hall, and consciously pulled her hood lower to cover her face.

The inside of the hall was as white as the building was from the outside. The walls reflected light and illuminated the entire hall. Slabs of grey stones, thousands of meters long were lined up in rows. Revan's eyes searched through the rows and rows of names engraved onto the slabs. Finally she found it.

_ Orsen, Servio _

Raising a gauntleted hand, she pressed the button next to the name. A holoprojector appeared and displayed a picture of a smiling young man with blonde hair. Revan closed her eyes for a few seconds before looking at the picture again.

"Hey, buddy. It's me. Should've known you were real. And I should've come here earlier. I had a lot to do for the past few months. Mostly searching for stuff you know." She paused for a moment. "Force…it's been more than a year. You've been dead for more than a year…"

"I'm so sorry. Damn it. I was so stupid to challenge you. Damn! You were a scout, not some darned soldier." She paused for the second time, and recalled what happened back then.

* * *

_ "You're a sissy, Serv. War's waging out there and here you are, sitting on that big ass of yours doing nothing except reading through that datapad of yours over and over again. Can't you be a real man for once?" Sweet mockery was in her voice as she smirked at the blonde man in front of her._

_ "Don't tempt me, girl. You'd better not make me tackle you like I did the last time." Servio drawled and glanced up at the woman standing in front of him. "And you didn't win, I did." _

_ "Yeah, yeah. But you said you wanted to be something else other than a scout. You said you wanted something new. Why not try to be a soldier. You're gonna be a hit with the ladies wearing those uniforms." She smirked at him. "Come on. I dare you. Or are you too afraid of dying?" As always, the teasing and the daring._

_

* * *

_

_ He was standing in front of her, wearing the Republic pilot uniform and grinning like an idiot. "You got me into this sister. I told you I would join. Where're my winnings?"_

_ "Here. I can't believe you'd do this." She handed him his credits. The big grin on her face turned into a teary expression. "I'm going to miss you Serv. Scouting won't be the same without you anymore."_

_ "Well. I wanted to get out of that job and I pretty like the idea of being a pilot. I look dashing don't I?" Servio did a swirl that tickled her funny bone. "I've got something for you. It's not much but…" he took out an exquisitely decorated dagger from his bag and handed it to her. "I want you to have this, since I won't be there to save your butt for a very long time."_

_ She stared at the jewelled dagger and slowly touched it with her hand. The stones on the handle felt cold, but the whole thing fitted her hand like it was made for her. "How… how did you get this?"_

_ Servio shrugged his shoulders. "Jeez, thanks for not thanking me. How do you think I got it? With credits of course." Pursing his lips, he turned his head away from her._

_ "Thank you Servio." Lowering her head, she tried to hide her sadness from him. Servio looked at her, and gently lifted her chin to make her look at him._

_ "I'll be fine. I promise you." Giving her a lopsided smile, he bent over to kiss her on the forehead. "I'll always be there for you pal. You're my best friend…"_

_ As she watched him boarding the ship, she didn't realise that it would be the last time she would ever see him again. _

_----------------------_

Holding the dagger in her hand, Revan caressed the stones on the handle. She looked up and stared at the man's picture. She heaved another sigh and spoke. "I guess I've got a lot to tell, haven't I?" And thus she began to relate all that had happened over the past few months, including who she really was, how she defeated Malak. She told him about the Ebon Hawk crew, but she stopped short before she mentioned Carth.

She wondered how talking to a dead man's picture be so comforting. Revan looked at the dagger again. The blue, black and silver coloured stones seemed to glow with their own light. Then she noticed something she had never noticed before- a small carving at the end of the handle, so small that a person needed to look really closely.

_I'll always be there._

The sorrow returned to her features. "How many more must die and suffer because of me?" _You're a calamity, Revan. Wherever you go, people will die. It's your entire fault, no one else's._

"I am Revan. Fallen Sith Lord. Heh. What a wonderful life." She said with cynicism in her voice. Revan lifted her hands to pull at her hood again, anxious that someone will recognise her.

_Revan…_

She heard a whispery and disembodied voice called to her. Turning her head left and right, she saw no one on the aisle she was in. Using the Force, she sensed no one in the hall save for some droids. Shaking off the confusion, she turned to leave.

Then she felt a massive disturbance in the Force. _The Temple!_

Revan raced back to the Temple in the speeder she borrowed. She ignored the cursing from other drivers as she sped pass them like a woman on the run. Her pulse raced as she wondered what was happening.

--------------------

The Temple was intact and there was no damage. Confused, Revan walked into the halls, exchanging nods with others and ignored those who looked at her with dislike. While marching her way towards the inner part of the Temple, she was stopped by Juhani.

"Juhani! What happened? A disturbance…"

"I know Revan, every Jedi in the temple felt it. The Council are gathering at the chamber now." Juhani had a look on her face that puzzled Revan. "Come, Bastila and Jolee are at the common hall."

------------

Jolee and Bastila were sitting casually on a couch when Revan reached the hall. The common hall was quite empty save for a small group of young Padawans. As Revan walked towards the two other Jedi she readied herself for what was coming. _Great, I'm going to be interrogated by two of the most demanding Jedi in the Order. Just great._

"Hello Revan." Bastila greeted her in a most formal way. "Very nice to see you again." Revan understood the meaning behind her greeting. _Aha. A lecture's on the way._ Jolee simply nodded his head at her. Revan greeted them back.

"I thought I would be long dead before we saw you again. Where have you been?" Jolee eyed her intensively. Revan gave him a look that told him to stop asking.

"You have been missing for the past two weeks, Revan. Where have you been? We have been looking for you. You shouldn't have just disappeared like that. And you shut me off from you" Bastila chimed in.

Revan shifted in her couch and sniffed. "You don't need me to tell you where I have been. You know pretty well where I've been to."

"What… what do you mean?" Bastila stammered, knowing pretty well what she meant. Jolee looked amused while Juhani shook her head. Revan pursed her lips together and stared hard at her.

"I'm not stupid, nor blind, nor non-Force sensitive. And I don't even need conformation from anyone to know that every single time I go out two Jedi will follow me. As hard as they try to mask their presence I can still feel them Bas."

Jolee smiled even wider at what she said. "I told them you'd know." Bastila shifted uneasily in her chair and looked at Revan apologetically.

Revan never took her eyes off her. "I'm not mad. I understand the Council's actions, but if I'm correct they're doing this because of the Republic and because of some of the other Jedi. And you all were just following orders."

"But still lass, I'm gonna be frank with you. What's with this hide and seek game you're playing with us. Mission has tried to contact you for Force-knows how many times and every time we try to look for you you're as illusive as… as… bah, I don't know, just illusive. Explain yourself." The old man gave her a stern look.

She shook her head and muttered. "I just need sometime to myself Jolee. I'm not hiding." _Nice try. You know he knows you're lying. _

Jolee wanted to say something but thought it was better not to. Before anyone could speak again, she said, "Look, I'm sorry, but at least just let me have some time to myself. I need to think."

No one spoke for a very long time. Juhani finally broke the silence by asking Revan, "Where did you get that outfit? I've never seen it before." She pointed at her black, high collared clothing. It was not too loose or too tight. The hood hung at her back.

Revan smiled. "This? I got it before we left the hotel to come to the Temple. It's more comfortable than Jedi robes, and it actually fits."

Bastila looked at her again. "But black?"

Revan turned to her again and answered her sarcastically, "Brown makes me look fat. Black makes me look divine. And I sure don't give a damn on how the Masters will think." Then she spotted something. "Jolee, is that a master's robe you're wearing?"

"What does it look like to you? Bantha skin? It feels like it, but no it's not." Jolee replied her huffily. "I'm not surprise that you don't know."

Juhani answered Revan's question for him. "He's been promoted to the rank of a Master. And you should have seen him trying to reject it." She tried to suppress a smile when Jolee glared at her.

"It's not funny child. I told them I didn't want to teach brats and have people bowing before me every time I walk past them."

"I remember you said that you'd rather teach a bunch of tachs than kids." Bastila butted in.

Revan sniggered at Jolee and stood up and playfully bowed before him. The old man rolled his eyes at her. "You'd better watch out too or they might reinstate you as Knight kid. Then you'll have the time of your life."

"I doubt it Jolee. With all this following me around it just shows that the Council still doesn't trust me. Besides, I don't think I'm ready for it."

"You are when the Council thinks you are." Bastila sprouted her Jedi knowledge.

It was Revan's turn to roll her eyes. "Back to reality. What happened just now? I thought the Temple was under attacked. The disturbance was…big."

The other three Jedi looked at each other. Jolee shook his head. "None of us know what happened just now. That bunch of insane old coots gathered and locked themselves in the chamber. "We will tell you later." That's what Vandar said. Whatever it is, it's not good."

Silence returned to the group. Only the chattering from the Padawans across the room could be heard. "It was just like when Taris was bombed." Juhani whispered.

A female Zabrak Jedi walked towards them and bowed before Jolee. Revan and the others tried to hide their smiles. "The Council wishes to see all of you, especially Jedi Revan."

Revan raised an eyebrow at the statement. "May I know what this is about?"

The Jedi smiled politely at her. "I'm afraid this is not the place to tell you, Jedi Revan. You will know when you meet the Council. Please follow me."

---------

The Zabrak led them into one of the many chambers in the Temple. Revan had never been there before but a familiar feeling overwhelmed her. Seeing her confusion, Bastila explained. "You've been here many times before when you were that Revan." Revan nodded her head silently, not wanting to make any comments.

They entered a big room with about twenty people standing in it. They were all gathered around a holo-projector, and discussing something. Revan noticed that besides the twelve Jedi Masters, about eight Republic representatives were there too, including Carth.

Revan noticed as she walked that Carth was wearing a Commodore's badge. She smiled inwardly. _Commodore Onasi. You deserve it flyboy. _Stopping beside Jolee, she avoided looking at Carth and bowed before the Masters. Master Vrook looked at her with disapproval, obviously not happy with her choice of attire.

The four Jedi shook hands with the Republic representatives. Revan simply nodded at Carth and looked away immediately. An admiral spoke. "So this is the infamous Revan we've all heard about. I am glad to hear of your victory over Malak. Congratulations."

Revan tilted her head slightly and politely said her thanks. Another admiral, a woman spoke to her. "How are you, Revan? It's been four months since I last saw you."

"I am doing very well, Admiral Dodonna. Thank you for asking. May we know why are we summoned?"

"I believe that you have felt the disturbance in the Force just now, Padawan." Master Vandar walked closer to her. Revan simply nodded. The others in the room save for her and the other three had a grave expression on their faces. "The disturbance was created by an assault on Dantooine. The temporary Republic base and the newly built Jedi enclave were bombarded again."

Revan's eyes widened with horror. "The… the enclave?"

Master Vrook nodded. "There were some other parts that were destroyed. The damage is, however, not as great as the last assault made by Malak, and the casualties are not as large as the last time. "

"How could the Sith gain such great firepower when they are scattered around the galaxy at the moment?" Bastila was obviously horrified.

"It's not the Sith's doing, Bastila. If it were them they'd make sure this time no one will live. We are facing a new threat aren't we, Masters?" Revan looked at the twelve members of the High Council. Vandar simply nodded.

"And what does this have to do with me?" Revan braved the question. She could feel an aura of accusations emitting from a few of the representatives, but chose to ignore them.

"The Rakatans were on board the ship to Dantooine when it was bombed. From what the translation droid translated to us, the Rakatans saw something, but they will not tell us what it was." Master Vandar looked around the room. Admiral Dodonna indicated that he should continue. "They have insisted that they will speak of what they saw only to you. Only you. From what we understand, they do not trust anyone except you."

Revan blinked for a couple of times. "They asked for me? What in the galaxy are they doing on Dantooine?

"They are there to do a research on the Ancient Ruins. They wanted to learn more of their ancient culture and architecture." An unfamiliar Master answered her.

"What puzzles me the most is how the assailant got past the detector shield on Dantooine. It's almost impossible to do so." Vrook pondered. "We need you to go to Dantooine and find out what the Rakatans saw, Padawan."

_ Great, another searching game. My life IS wonderful. _

"Since the Republic is also involved in this matter, we will provide the transport to the planet. Commodore Onasi accompany you in your mission." Admiral Dodonna offered.

_Oh great. Just great. Me and my wonderful luck. Carth is coming with me. Just great._

Jolee sniggered behind her and she tried not to look annoyed. "I can do this on my own, Admiral. I don't need company."

"I would advise you to let the Commodore go with you, Revan. Master Jolee and Padawan Juhani will be going too." Jolee stopped his sniggers at what Master Vandar said.

"I'm to follow her? What about Bastila?"

"Padawan Bastila has her own things to do. Her mother currently needs her care at the hospital." Bastila looked at her feet, feeling guilty that she couldn't go. Revan gave her an "it's ok" look and smiled.

"Then it is all arranged, I assume." Admiral Dodonna tapped one of her booted feet. "Shall we take a break?" She gained approval from some of the other members in the meeting. As they followed the representatives to leave the room, Master Vandar stopped Revan, Bastila and Juhani.

"Padawans, before you leave, there's something the three of you need to know." Master Vandar looked at Master Vrook and the other Council members and they nodded their heads. "Even within just a few months, the three of you have gained immense knowledge and experiences. The changes in you are significant. And these changes are for the better. You have become wiser, more tolerant, and the most important thing is that you have learned from your past mistakes, that is returning from the dark side and learning to start anew."

Pausing for a moment to take a breath, he then continued. "With such priceless experiences and lessons learned, The Council deems you ready to become knights." With a wave of his small hands, a droid carrying a bundle of blue cloth came and handed each Jedi a set of clothes. Revan accepted the clothes with a mutter of thanks and a blank face. Bastila's eyes were wide with surprise and she looked at Master Vandar as if he had ordered her to go to Hoth. Juhani however, seemed to be the most normal among the three. She accepted the clothing with a small smile. The three of them gave their appreciations to the Masters.

Master Vrook cleared his throat and spoke to them all, but his words were meant for Revan "I see the clothes will fit you rather well. You must take good care of them as they are the proof of your knighthood." Revan grinned and simply tilted her head politely at him. _Nice try. But no thank you. You are not getting me to wear this._

As they walked out of the room, Revan glowered at Jolee when he whispered, "Have a great time kid, you're going to start teaching." into her ear. Just as she was going to give a smart reply, a familiar voice called her from behind. Turning to see who had called her, she saw Carth walking up to her.

"Uh, Rev. Can I talk to you for a second?" Shooting Jolee a "go away" look, the older man gave him a knowing glance and muttered something into his ear before leaving the two of them alone. Carth just answered him with a curt nod.

"Yes, what can I do for you?" The formality in Revan's voice stung him.

"I, ah, wanted to congratulate you on your promotion."

"Thank you. And congratulations to you too, Commodore." She shifted her eyes to his badges.

"Oh, these. Thank you."

They stood there looking at each other for a moment, both unable to speak.

"Rev. Can we talk?"

"We are talking."

"I mean about us."

"There's nothing about us to talk about, Commodore. If you'll excuse me, I wish to retire to my quarters." _Hasty retreat. Hasty retreat. I need to get out of this!_

Carth grabbed her arm as she turned to flee. Lowering his voice into an almost inaudible whisper, he pleaded to her. "Please, just hear me out. Please Rev."

"Commodore!" Admiral Dodoona's interrupted him. "Hurry up! We are waiting for you." Carth cursed softly under his breath.

"You are wanted, Commodore. And I need to start packing. If you'll excuse me." Revan brushed off his grip and walked away before he could get hold of her again. Carth frowned at her disappearing figure and clenched his fists. _Infuriating woman! _

"Commodore!"

Turning on his heels, he muttered under his breath. "Yeah. Yeah. I'm coming. Thanks for disturbing me." He turned his head to look at Revan again, but only saw the sheer emptiness of the corridor.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: See last chapter. But my Revan is MINE, not the name though. :(

Big thanks goes to Plutospawn for beta reading my chap for me. You're my hero! Eh...heroine. :p

Trunxluvr82190: Heh heh. This chapter should chase away some of those menacing clouds hanging over chapter 4. :)

Tifa-Carbuncle: Bad admiral, bad! lol

sammie teufel: Thanks! I'm glad you like it. And that was a very big praise. :D

Lunatic Pandora1: My Revan's the kind that believes that you don't have to wear Jedi robes to be a Jedi. Besides, she likes to irritate the Masters, especially Vrook. :p

Krazed Kaioshin Fangirl: Thanks! About Carth, I dunno... :D

Thanks to all again for reviewing!

* * *

Her room was dark and gloomy when she stepped into it. She didn't bother to turn on the lights or pull back the curtains as she threw her new clothes onto the bed. A frustrated groan came from her mouth and her brows knitted together, forming a dark line on her forehead. She walked towards her footlocker and entered the code. The Jedi threw off her cloak as she rummaged through the footlocker and took out a mini-holoprojector.

She held the device in her hand and hesitated for a moment before turning the thing on. The projector showed a picture of the entire Ebon Hawk crew, with her standing in the middle and Carth by her side. His left hand was placed on her right shoulder. The picture was taken at the victory celebration, just before she had broken up with Carth.

She pressed one of the buttons on the device and the picture disappeared and there was a picture of her and Carth. The frown on her face changed into a pained expression. She held back her tears and threw the device away from her. The thing fell onto the floor with a dull thud and it turned itself off. She rubbed her temples and sat on the floor in a lotus position. _Man, I need this meditation._

She closed her eyes and took deep breaths. Revan controlled her feelings and tried to keep a calm mind. Slowly, she let the calmness take over her and she became oblivious to her surroundings.

Deep in her meditation, she suddenly found herself on a tranquil grove. She looked around her and saw that she was standing on a small hill, with odd-looking trees surrounding her. A waterfall splashed and gurgled a few feet away from her. She walked towards and saw a silhouette between two trees.

"I hope this scenery won't bring too much surprise to you as the last one did." The mysterious figure spoke. Revan was becoming more and more confused with each step she took towards the silhouette._ What the…_

"Malak?" The silhouette turned to face her with a small smile on his face. He looked amused at her confused expression. "I thought you were dead."

"Yes, I'm one with the Force, Revan."

"Then why are you standing in front of me? Unless…" Her eyes widened with shock. "Unless I'm dead too!"

Malak chuckled and rubbed his jaw—his real, organic jaw. "No Revan, you're not dead. I've just connected myself to your meditative trance. What you're seeing now is…well… created by me, and I'm sort of a ghost."

Revan's shoulders relaxed at his assurance. She eyed at him with uncertainty and tried to say something. "Why are you here?" _For the Force's sake, can't he just leave me in peace? _"You confused the crap out of me the last time."

Malak gave another loud chuckle. Revan decided that if she weren't so tense and suspicious at the time she would certainly have found him rather funny. "Relax Revan. I can't kill you and I'm not here to." _Great, so you've decided to haunt me for the rest of my miserable life for pulling you to the dark side and killing you? How nice of you, old pal._

Malak seemed to have read her mind and arched an eyebrow at her. "Still as distrusting as always, even when you can't remember your past."

Indignantly, she snapped at him, "Why should I trust you when you betrayed me when I was the Dark Lord and tried to kill me when I was searching for the Star Forge. You must really think that I'm nuts."

Malak smiled again and shook his head. His weirdness made her feel extremely uncomfortable. Four months ago he was a snarling Sith Lord who wanted her dead, and yet now he is smiling and being friendly to her. And the aspect of seeing him with his jaw on was… strange.

"You have the right not to trust me. But I am not here to gain your trust. I am here to warn you."

"Warn me about what?"

"Your mission. Don't go Revan. Something dark awaits you."

Revan looked at him for a moment and rolled her eyes at him. "Oh so now what, you were my friend, my apprentice, my betrayer and now you are my guardian angel? You really are flexible aren't you? What are you trying to do?"

Malak frowned at her. "Dantooine is not safe Revan. If you value your life, don't go there."

It was Revan's turn to look amused. "My life? Huh. How dangerous can Dantooine be? Besides the Kath Hounds and all. I'm pretty certain most of them are dead."

"I cannot tell you about the future. The future is constantly in motion."

"Ooh… Really? The Masters would certainly be please with your sudden "Jediness", Malak. Well, do you see me all grey haired, limping around, and trying to get my hands on some Padawans in my class? And you follow rules? Now that's a first." Revan retorted sarcastically.

"Listen Revan…"

Just as Malak was trying to say something again, a knock came from Revan's door. She heard Malak curse as she woke from the trance. "Knight Revan?" Revan shook her head at the incident and stood up. _Whatever he's trying to do, he's making my life hell._

"Are you sure you contacted her Jolee?" Carth stood on the boarding platform with an anxious look on his face. He glanced at his chronometer and looked at the entrance.

"Who did you think I was talking to just now? A Hulak Wraid from Tatooine? How many times do I have to tell you? She's coming!" Jolee almost yelled at the man in frustration. Dustil looked at them with and chuckled. He liked that old man. Something about him that keeps grumbling about young people amused him. He turned to his father and asked.

"Can't I go with you?"

Carth gave his son an apologetic look and shook his head. "This is not a vacation Dustil. I'm sorry."

Bastila walked up to them and gave Dustil a nod and a small smile. "I hoped that I could go too, but my mother's health does not permit it." She turned towards Carth. "What time are you leaving? I do not sense Revan anywhere near here."

Carth frowned. "You don't think she's got cold feet, has she? We are supposed to leave in an hour's time. Canderous is late too."

Bastila raised an eyebrow. "The Mandalorian is going too?"

Carth's frown deepened. "No, but we're dropping him off at Tatooine. He said he wanted to have some time away from us."

A bumbling Mission ran towards them and nearly fell flat on her face. She was lucky that Zaalbar caught her just in time. [Careful Mission.]While she grinned awkwardly, she thanked her gigantic companion. Dustil almost laughed out.

"Where's Revan?" Mission looked around with anticipation but her face fell when she saw that Revan wasn't there.

"We've been asking the same question for the past twenty minutes." Dustil informed her and looked at the backpack she had on her back. "You're going?"

"I am if Revan allows me to."

"I highly doubt that Mission." Bastila told her with an almost unnoticeable smile. "You know that she's very protective of you." Mission glared at her.

"Well, well, speak of the devil." Jolee stuck his chin towards a direction and everyone turned their heads to see who it was. Revan was clambering out of a speeder and Canderous was climbing out of the other end with a smirk on his face, obviously finding her difficulty of getting out of the speeder rather amusing. But the smirk immediately disappeared when the woman shouted something at him. He walked towards her and helped her out. Carth's face turned dark at what he saw.

"What in the galaxy did that woman do to herself?" Bastila's eyes squinted to look at what Revan was wearing.

What she wore was definitely not her Knight clothing. She sported a grey shirt with black clasps for buttons and rolled up sleeves, and wore black trousers that seemed to fit her way better than her Jedi robes. A number of silver chains chinked on both of her wrists and a thick black choker with a silver pendant was strapped onto her neck. A few small braids were visible in her hair and the rest was tied into a braid that hung on her back.

Her boots clicked on the platform as she walked towards the group. Mission ran to give her a big hug. "Where have you been?" Her smile turned into an angry frown. "Didn't you get my calls? I tried calling you till my fingers nearly broke!"

Revan gave her an apologetic smile and said sorry to her. Mission seemed satisfied and carried her bag for her. Bastila eyed the older woman with dissatisfaction. Jolee raised his eyebrows and waited for the lecturing to happen.

"What are you wearing and where's your robes? I thought now that you'd have a blue robe instead of a brown one you'd wear it. And that's a really ridiculous choker on your neck." Revan rolled her eyes and pursed her lips at the younger woman.

"For your information, Miss-I-don't-wear-anything-else-but-Jedi-robes-and-I-don't-like-Jedi-wearing-anything-else-besides-Jedi-robes, I am wearing these clothing with the permission of Master Vandar and Master Vrook."

Dustil chuckled and the older woman gave him a wink. His chuckles stopped immediately.

Juhani and Jolee looked surprised. The Cathar asked her, "Master Vrook? I thought he disliked your choice of wearing ordinary clothes."

"He does. But with the five assassination attempts on me during the past four months, they thought that it would be better that I wore something less Jedi." Revan shrugged her shoulders.

"But lass, even without your robes people can still recognise you." Jolee told her.

Revan looked at him. "The assassination attempts were made by the Sith, not civilians. They don't even know how I look like. The civilians never saw my face since there was never any pictures of me shown and the Sith wouldn't have known what I looked like since I always wore a mask when I was the Dark Lord. The attacks were made only when the Dark Jedi recognised the aura of my Force." Dustil's eyes widened with disbelief. _Five assassination attempts and she's acting like they're talking about the weather!_

Unable to keep his mouth shut, he asked. "What about the civilians? Won't they have seen your face on the holonews?"

The woman gave a mischievous grin. "Well… no one has ever seen those pictures of me, have they? Don't look at me like that Bastila, I didn't do anything. All I did was I hack into their systems and delete every single picture available of me." T3-M4 beeped beside her. "Oh yeah, with the help of my little astromech droid that is."

Everyone laughed, even Bastila.

"Well, just take off that ridiculous choker of yours. You're wearing too many accessories." Bastila waved a hand at her. Revan narrowed her eyes at the younger woman. She took off the choker and pointed a finger at her throat.

A small and very thin circular device was protruding out of her neck, just above her larynx.

"Tell me, would you rather look at this thing or the choker?" Irritation dripped in her voice. Bastila flinched at the sight of the device.

"So…Sorry. I forgot about that." Dustil stared at the shining thing at Revan's neck. The older woman lifted her hands to tie the choker back on place and gave Bastila a forgiving look. The boy turned towards his father only to see him with a hurt expression. Sensing that his son was going to ask questions, Carth swiftly shook his head at him. Dustil kept quiet immediately.

Mission broke the silence by asking Revan loudly, "Can I go to Dantooine with you? You won't just leave me here would you?" Revan lowered her head to look at the blue Twi'lek. A smile spread across her features.

"Of course I won't just leave you here…" Mission's eyes grew wide with eagerness. "Zaalbar's staying with you on Coruscant." The Twi'lek's face fell almost immediately.

"I can't go? But…but…"

"No buts missy. You're staying here"

"You ain't my mother! How can you stop me from going?"

Revan's smile grew wider. "I know, kid. Trust me, I can stop you if I want to. And it ain't going to be pretty if you made me." Her smile turned into a fake malicious grin. She straightened her back and announced. "Ah, my escorts are here." Turning to look behind her, she saw two Jedi Knights walking towards her.

"Jedi Revan, everyone. The captain said the ship is ready for take off. We have to go now."

Revan nodded her head and turned to say goodbye to those who were not following. Mission was flushed with anger and Zaalbar told Revan he'd watch her for her. Bastila gave Revan a hug and told her to be careful. The two droids were to follow their master. Dustil shook hands with his father and saw them walk off.

Bastila left without seeing them board the ship and left the remaining trio standing on the boarding platform. Dustil saw the two droids going up the ramp last and the he turned to look at Mission. The Twi'lek was whispering to the Wookiee and had a big smile on her face. The Wookiee moaned and shook his gigantic head at her. Dustil watched them in a state of confusion.

"What are you guys talking about?"

Mission looked at him and asked. "Wanna go on a little adventure?" The Wookiee shook his head harder and Dustil looked even more confused.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Sorry 'bout the long delay. The beta and I were very busy. Anyway, /waves hand at the readers/, You guys are awfully quiet.

Coruscant Publishing: Thanks, and thanks for the name.

Lunatic Pandora1: Hmm...for the time being, no. She's frustrated too. :p

Winterfox: Ick, missed those when I cleaned the whole thing up after pluto edited it for me. Thanks for telling, anyway. BTW, isn't it too early to judge Revan's attitude? :) Read on...

Plutospawn: Thanks again, you go girl!!

* * *

The cantina by the docking bay seemed like any other cantina: it was dark, smoky and extremely noisy. Waitresses strutted around the room, waiting for orders while Pazaak players moaned and groaned whenever they lost. The smell of food and ale wafted in the air; Republic soldiers sat around the bar and ogled at the dancers dancing on the stage. A solitary figure sat in the shadows and was oblivious to the exotic dancers.

The silhouette figure raised a glass full of Corellian whisky to his mouth and drank from it. His eyes never left the person he had been watching for the past hour. A roar of laughter distracted him and his eyes shifted to the table next to his; a group of Republic Privates were exchanging jokes amongst themselves. One spotted him looking at them and immediately stopped laughing. He gave a nod and greeted him. "Good evening, Commodore."

Carth nodded in acknowledgement and looked at the person he had been looking at. He hoped she hadn't heard the Private addressing him. _Commodore. Huh. I don't understand why they insisted on giving me a raise. I declined the position of Admiral and they stuffed me with the position of Commodore... Republic._

He gazed hard at the woman and the pain grew in his heart. _You're a pathetic joke, Onasi._ He studied her. She stood by the window and looked out into deep space, obviously deep in thought.

_I will never understand you, will I, Revan? No matter how hard I try to get a hold onto you, you slip away like some fish, never allowing anyone to touch you, not even yourself. _Carth sighed. _Why are you doing this to yourself, Rev? Why punish yourself for the things you can't remember doing?_

He shook his head at the thought and raised his eyes to look at her again. Her silvery-grey eyes were celestial-like, with a glow of their own. They mesmerised him and intoxicated him. Carth remembered how soft her gazes were before the revelation, and how they grew hard and cold after. Her smiles were never warm and alluring after Malak's death. Carth cursed the Jedi Council for torturing her soul.

He stared at her long, black, sleek, and braided hair and wondered why he had never seen her let her hair down. His eyes wandered to the choker on her neck and he flinched.

Her battle with Malak had not been as injury-free as he had wished it would be. Carth recalled seeing her coming out of the battle area with blood and wounds all over her. She was breathing with difficulty and her pale face a stark contrast to the blood smeared on her. Scorched marks were all over her and she had tried to act as if everything was fine. But as she did so she collapsed in his arms and he had to run and carry her at the same time back to the Ebon Hawk.

Most of the internal and external wounds were mended save for a number of her organs. Malak had been able to partially incinerate her trachea and puncture one of her lungs. He had also been able to penetrate her sternum with his lightsabre and grazed through her left ventricle. Her lungs and heart couldn't function on their own any longer.

_It was a damn miracle that she managed to survive through all those severe injuries._

Besides the addition to her collection of scars, a stabilizer was implanted into her in the chest. The stabilizer, or NT-S23, was to act as her new system to control her heartbeats and lung functions. When he had asked why the device was in her chest the medics explained that with the seriousness of her injuries, implanting two different devices in her body may burden her, and her organs wouldn't function as well as with the single unit. The protruding disc-like metal in her neck served as a power point, with a small opening in the middle.

Revan refused to have the thing on her chest, saying that it would be extremely uncomfortable for her. She argued with them even though she could hardly speak as her lungs began to fail. The medics finally placed the device where they wanted to when the woman passed out.

Carth shook his head at her stubbornness. _If she'd just relax a little she wouldn't be all paranoid and stuff. Heh, that kind of sounds like me._

"Commodore Onasi!" Carth raised his head to look at the person who called him. A lieutenant walked towards him and lowered his voice. "Sir, there's been an intrusion in the ship. The admiral wishes to see you immediately." The man nodded at Carth and walked to the direction where Revan was standing. He spoke to her and Carth saw her nod her head. Gesturing to Carth, she walked out of the cantina.

"What's this all about?" Carth asked as soon as he got beside her.

"No idea. Some Sith probably." She never turned her head to look at him.

"If it's the Sith they would've sounded the alarms." Carth tried to keep up with her swift strides.

"Hmm...I wouldn't be surprised if it's another assassination attempt. But if the intruder is a Sith, he or she must be either pretty brave or is the stupidest damn Sith I've ever met."

They arrived before a metallic door and opened it.

"Carth! Long time no see old pal!" A man older than Carth greeted him and turned to Revan. "Good evening, Knight Revan."

"Good evening, Admiral Balsa." Revan returned the greeting. Carth walked up to the man and gave him a thump on the back.

"Good to see you Kal! By the way, who are the intruders?"

Admiral Balsa rubbed his chin and gave Carth a good long stare. "I was wondering too. But upon seeing you I think I have the answer." He pressed a button on his comlink and ordered. "Bring them in."

Revan's blood pressure would have risen if it were not because of the NT-S23 unit. Two soldiers brought in the three intruders. Carth's eyes widened with disbelief.

"Dustil Onasi!"

Revan followed suit. "Mission Vao!" She turned her head to look at the other person. "Zaalbar! Of all people! You!"

Balsa stood there grinning at the scene. "So he is your son. I was surprised when I saw the uncanny resemblances he has to you. As for the Twi'lek and Wookiee?" He looked enquiringly at Revan.

"She's not my kid, that's for sure. She's in my charge though." Her eyes bored into the Twi'lek's guilty eyes and her jaws set in a firm line. "Where did you find them?"

"In the laundry room, hiding in one of the empty compartments. The Wookiee was hidden beneath some sheets. They gave the laundry lady a nasty shock." He looked at Carth's grim face and Revan's almost impenetrable gaze on the Wookiee and the Twi'lek. "I uh, perhaps should leave the five of you alone for the moment."

Carth apologised to Balsa about the stowaways. The admiral simply waved away the apologies and said it was okay. The room was unpleasantly quiet for a moment. Mission fidgeted and Dustil lowered his head. Zaalbar was suddenly extremely interested with the ceiling.

"Explain." Carth's voice sounded dangerously low.

"It was all her idea, Father. Not mine." Dustil pointed a finger at Mission. The Twi'lek glared at him and he glared back.

"Talk, Mission. Now." Revan's stare never left Mission's face and the Twi'lek bravely looked into her eyes.

"I just wanted to go with you."

"And?"

"We sneaked onto the ship after you guys boarded with the stealth generator on and hid in the laundry room. We didn't do anything else, I swear! Why are you guys so mad anyway? It's not like we did something really wrong. Dustil wanted to go with Carth and I wanted to follow you. Coruscant ain't a nice place you know."

Revan rubbed her temples. _Why me? I have no kids but why am I suffering like a parent?_

"Mission, you have done the opposite of what I told you to. I said you were not to go to Coruscant and you should have listened to me. It's not the matter of whether you want to follow me or not. You could have gotten yourselves killed if those were Sith soldiers that caught you! I know Coruscant isn't a place you like to live in but at least...at least you are under the Council's care there." She rubbed her temples harder.

"You always claim that you hate people calling you a kid but today you acted like one! You've shown irresponsibility and brashness. You could have gotten Dustil into such deep trouble! Imagine the problem you could have created if things went wrong. And Zaalbar, of all the Wookiees on Kashyyyk I thought you would be more sensible. But instead of acting like a grown up you acted like an immature brat. What am I to do with you two?"

"_I am sorry Revan." _Zaalbar moaned.

Mission glared indignantly at Revan for daring to call her a brat. Before she could make a smart retort, Zaalbar cupped her mouth with a furry hand and growled lowly.

Carth looked sternly at Dustil and the younger man gave his father a weak smile. "It wasn't my fault! Don't look at me like that!" Dustil snapped irritably at Carth. The older man frowned and looked hurt.

"I'm not accusing you, Dus. But you knew better than to run around like that..."

"I said it wasn't my fault!" Dustil's eyes burnt with anger.

Zaalbar growled loudly again and the father and son kept quiet in case the Wookiee decided to maul them for arguing.

Dustil looked nervously at the Wookiee and back to his father. _Damn! Why do I have to apologise? _"I'm...uh...sorry?"

Carth shook his head dismissively._ I wanted a son and I get a downright stubborn and hot-blooded boy._ "It's okay, son. At least you're not hurt. But do this again, I'm warning you."

"Thanks Father. I won't." _I am NOT going to listen to you, old man._

Mission looked expectantly at Revan. The woman was muttering the Jedi code under her breath and her eyes were closed. "The two of you are grounded. You are to stay in your rooms until we reach Dantooine. You are only allowed out during meal times. I will arrange for rooms for the three of you."

"But Carth didn't even ground Dustil!" Mission pointed out with frustration.

"Dustil was pulled into this little scheme of yours and it was not his fault. You should be thanking the Force that Carth didn't demand the two of you to be kicked out into hyperspace! Dustil is Carth's son, thus his responsibility. You are my responsibility and Zaalbar is too, thus, you do what I tell you to do." Her headache grew stronger by the second.

"You can't do this! You can't!" Mission yelled at Revan at the top of her lungs.

"You would do better to listen to me, kid. No more arguing, no more buts. This headache is killing me." Revan gave the Twi'lek a stern look and rubbed her temples.

"Why am I acting like a mother when I'm not one Carth?" She called to the Force to wash away the annoying headache. Carth looked at her in surprise. _She's actually talking to me?_

"Because you're like one to her?"

She rolled her eyes at him. "You and your lame attempts at jokes. I'll go get those rooms for the three of you stowaways. You two stay in my room until I come back. Understand?"

Mission and Zaalbar nodded their heads and took the room card from Revan. She stepped out of the room and a new wave of headache attacked her.

_Stupid headaches._

_-----_

Her boots clicked loudly on the metallic floor as she made her way to her room. She had managed to get a room with four bunks for the three "stowaways" and her headache was still bothering her.

Revan decided it was best that she headed to the medical room first for some pain relievers before retreating to her room. She didn't see a man coming from another way and the two of them walked into each other. A pile of datapads fell from the man's arms and landed on the floor with a loud clatter. The man apologised profusely without looking at her. Revan pardoned him and bent down to help the man pick up the datapads.

"I'm really sorry miss." The man looked up to smile at Revan but when he saw her face he stared in uncertainty for a moment. "Miss, do I know you?"

She gave him a small smile. "I'm sorry but I don't think so."

The man tilted his head and realisation swarmed over his face. "I should have recognised you from the moment I saw that pretty face of yours."

_Talk more man, and you'll loose your teeth. Shit, I've got to stop being so hostile._

"You're Mikha, Mikha Nu'el, right?" The man asked her. Revan looked at him questioningly. _Ok buddy, how did you know that name?_

"Yes, I'm Mikha. How did you know me?"

"Ha, dear old Servio showed me your picture many times before. Speaking of that poor guy," the man shook his head sadly. "He was a good man."

_Servio..._

"He showed you my picture? He never had one of me." _He said that seeing me everyday was enough to last ten villages for a lifetime. How could he have had one of me?_

"Actually he had lots, and he talked a lot about you too."

_What's going on?_

"Oh dear, I haven't introduced myself yet, have I? I'm Gon Nox. I used to be Servio's roommate." The man named Nox held out a hand to shake hers. Revan accepted it quietly and with confusion. _Why in the galaxy did Serv have my pictures?_

"I'm pleased to meet a friend of Servio's, Mr Nox."

"Please, call me Gon. I was looking for you after what happened to him." Nox shook his head again.

Revan looked at the man enquiringly. "You were looking for me? Why?"

"After Servio died he left his belongings on the ship. They sent it back to his place- your place, but it was sent back to them. So I figured out that you might have moved so I kept his things for you and tried to look for you at the same time." Nox explained to her.

"I was working somewhere else. You have his things with you now?" O_f course I was gone. The good old Republic recruited me a week after his death. _

"Well, not now. I left them at home on Corellia. But I'm going back in a few days. Maybe I can send it to you. Where are you staying?" Nox asked her.

"I will be on Dantooine for sometime I think. You can send it to the Republic base, since I will be there." Revan told him without thinking. The mixture of confusion and the nagging headache made her nauseous.

"Right. I should be going now. I need to send this datapads to the Admiral before dinner. See you around then. Nice meeting you, Mikha." Nox gave her a small nod and walked away whistling. Revan hit her head softly with her palm and walked into the medical room for her relievers.

_Why in the world does Servio have my pictures? Man, if you were not dead pal I would be interrogating you till you fell flat on your face now. _

_------_

"You're not still angry with me are you, Revan?" Mission asked Revan softly as she glanced at the woman sitting on the couch.

The Twi'lek was playing Paazak with Jolee and the old man was muttering profanities under his breath as he watched Mission take away his credits. Zaalbar was sitting on a table and gobbling down a large amount of food. Dustil was practising his moves with a wooden stick with the help of Juhani.

Revan didn't answer Mission and continued to read her datapad. Jolee gave the Twi'lek girl a smirk and whispered. "You're in deep trouble, kid. She's not even talking to you." Dustil looked at Revan. _What's she doing anyway?_

"Concentrate, Dustil. Never take you eyes off the opponent." Juhani's voice registered into his head.

Mission ignored the old man's jeering and tried her luck again. "Revan? Are you listening to me?"

The older woman still didn't look up.

Frustrated, Mission yelled at the top of her lungs. "REVAN!"

Revan jumped in her couch and glared at Mission. "I'm not deaf you know. No need to yell at me." Jolee chuckled loudly.

"Lass, the kid's been calling you for some time now. You didn't answer her."

"Oh. Sorry. I was reading something. What was it?"

Mission puffed her cheeks. "Welcome back to the world. I was asking you whether or not you're still angry with me. You're not, are you?" The irritation in her voice had a hint of anxiety.

It was Revan's turn to chuckle. Dustil stopped and looked at her again. _I wonder what is she going to say? _"Mission." She paused for a moment as another fit of chuckles hit her. "Mission. If I really was that angry with you your ass would be running faster than your legs by now."

The Twi'lek gave a sigh of relief. Dustil continued to look at her. _No anger in her. Is she really that good?_ _Hmm...it could be an act..._ Revan seemed to have sense him looking at her and turned around to give him a smile. "You're doing great, boy. Keep it up."

The door opened and Carth walked in. "Hey everyone. Just got back from the bridge. We'll be arriving at Dantooine in five hours time. Rev, I want to talk to you for a minute." He gestured at Revan. She raised an eyebrow at him which implied, "you wish, brother, I ain't going anywhere with you." Carth shook his head at her and asked again, "It's business. Dodonna's orders." He waved a datapad at her.

Revan got up with reluctance and followed him.

"What?" The door closed with a hiss behind her.

"Not here. Dodonna wants me to pass you something."

"Your room then. It's the nearest." Revan mumbled hesitantly.

She walked towards his room and Carth just stood there staring at her. _That's some improvement. Is she really talking to me now?_

Revan settled herself on a couch in Carth's room. "What?" If it weren't because of the tension between the two of them Carth would have smiled at her. Instead, he walked up to her and handed her a datapad.

Carth sat on a couch opposite to hers and intertwined his fingers in front of him. "Dodonna says that your real name and identity will be concealed to avoid any unwanted problems, with the assassinations and all. She doesn't want an angry mob going after you either. So, after much consideration, that's what she said, you can choose whatever background and name for this mission."

She kept quiet for sometime and frowned. Carth shifted uncomfortably in his couch. "Do you want to do this?" _I should've told Dodonna no. She's been trying to deal with her fake identity and now she needs to choose one on her own._ _Damn the Council for putting her through this._

"I'm fine Carth. Actually I was thinking about it too." She typed something into the datapad and handed it back to him. Carth read what she typed in.

_Name: Nu'el, Mikha  
Occupation: Scout_

_Her old identity? _Carth looked up from the datapad. "You sure about this one?"

She sniffed and looked at him through her half closed eyes. "Why? I'm fine with it. You know the rest of the bio data. I think you can get it from the Republic employee archives."

"I'm fine with it. It's just...you're using that identity."

Revan shrugged her shoulders. "I don't mind. That was me for the past few years." His heart tugged a little when he thought about the lies that she had to face. _Damn the Council._

They sat there doing nothing as the minutes passed. It was so silent that they could hear the music from the mess hall on the floor below them playing. Revan made no move to leave, and Carth made no move to talk to her.

After a long pause, Carth finally spoke. "What are you trying to do to yourself, Rev?" He got up and knelt next to her couch on one knee. "Avoiding me is not going to make me go away and leave you."

Revan closed her eyes as she sighed. "Why do you love me Carth? How can you love someone like me?"

He took her hand in his. "No one can explain why people fall in love. I love you because of who you are now and not because of who you were, Rev. You're important to me and I'm not trying to be all mushy here."

The black haired woman gave a chuckle. "You're not mushy. Just plain ignorant." _You're loving a woman who cannot love, a woman who is supposed to feel nothing, and a woman who murdered your wife_. "I killed your wife, you remember how she died, don't you?" Her eyes hardened and she took her hands out of his. Standing up straight, she gave him another cold look.

He looked up at her. "You didn't kill Morgana. It wasn't your fault. Stop blaming yourself."

"Understand this, Onasi. Most of the things that happened in the past are my fault. If it wasn't because of me that attack would not have happened and no one would have died. I am a Jedi, Carth. Not some ordinary woman who you can just love with ease. We have our rules and I am to follow them whether I like it or not."

Carth controlled his mounting anger at the word "Jedi". "You're not a machine Revan, you're a human woman. Emotions are not as dangerous as your Council think it is. Why can't you just stop being paranoid and admit that you love me too Rev? Is that so hard?"

Revan laughed and rolled her eyes at the same time. "Me paranoid? Look who's talking! I don't love Carth. Why can't you just register that in your brain? Trying to talk me out of it would do nothing to change my mind. Love is as disastrous as a Terentatek in a Jedi Enclave. Look what happened to Nayama! Look what happened to Jolee! Do you want to end up like them? I don't!" Her chest raised and fell rapidly as she tried to get more air into her lungs.

Carth stood there, surprised at her flaring temper. _Just great. I wanted to just talk and now I pissed her off._ Revan raised a hand to stop him when he was going to talk again.

"Don't. Why must most of our conversations end up as a shouting match? Just... just ...please Carth. Understand. I cannot love you and pushing me isn't going to change anything. Can we just be friends? Please?"

"_Follow her decision, but stay by her. She has fears. Then show her that she has nothing to fear. Show her that you really love her. You said you'd wait right? Then wait!"_

Jolee's words returned to Carth's mind. He shook his head sadly. _Follow her decision, and try again later. _His hands clenched into balls of fists. _Damn it! I can't do this!_

"Damn it, Rev! Will you just stop acting like an idiot and stop torturing yourself? What the hell happened to the Rev I knew? Who are you?!"

"Who am I? I wish to know too." Revan's eyes never looked so cold and hollow. "Can you tell me that, Carth?"

"You're a damn coward. A damn coward who cannot accept herself and others!" He walked up to her and grabbed her shoulders. "Stop doing this to yourself! Stop doing this to me!"

She shocked him by chuckling. "Indeed, I'm a coward. A bloody one at that. A damn bloody coward..." She trailed off. _I have to hurt him once more. _Then her voice rose again. "I killed you wife! You said you remember how she died in your arms. You remember how the blood flowed from her and how she tried to call your name. I ruined your life! Dustil hates you! I've killed millions upon millions and I deserve everyone's hate. You said you hated me before, when I didn't know who I was. You have to hate me, Carth. Why can't you register that into that bloody stupid brain of yours? Let go of me!" _Ouch, Revan, that should hurt him enough. _She wrenched herself free from him and stormed out of the room.

Carth grabbed her by the arm again and forced her to look at him. "I do hate you. I hated you more than I hated Saul." Revan tried to hide her shock and sadness at his words. "I hated you because you promised me a life when I was at my lowest; I hated you because you made me feel alive again when I wanted to be dead."

His voice softened as he loosened his grip on her. "That was the hate I had for you when I found out who you were. I hated you because I loved you, and I still do."

Tears threatened to flow from her eyes when she heard his words. _Why must you love me this much, Carth? Why?_ As much as she wanted to give in and wrap her arms around the man she loved, her mind screamed, and told her to pull back. She did.

"Thank you, Carth. But like what I said, I _do not_ love you." She pushed his hand away from her arm and walked out of his room in mock confidence. Her heart sheared with agony and her eyes stung again.

Just as the door opened, the ship shook and a loud explosion was heard. Revan and Carth staggered and fell onto the floor. She turned to look at him and he at her.

"You okay?" Carth yelled as another explosion sounded. Revan nodded her head as she got up. He saw her mouth move but couldn't hear anything. But he made out what she meant.

"To the bridge."

* * *

Anyway,in case you guys are wondering, my Revan's scout name is pronounced as "Mai-kha" :P. 


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: I'm sorry for the late update. My life has been really hectic for the past few months. Special thanks goes to my beta- plutospawn, again.

Anyway, here's chapter 10, and the reason to Revan's sarcastic attitude and etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. Carthoholics, don't kill me for this chapter! :-p Chocolates to those who can find a famous quote.

* * *

"Who's bombing us?" Carth yelled to Revan as they ran to the commanding bridge.

"As if I'd know, Onasi!" She shouted back at him, trying to keep her balance.

A door to her right opened and Jolee, Juhani, Zaalbar, Mission and Dustil came running out of the room. Canderous came from a corridor leading to the mess hall. Not waiting for them to ask what happened, she yelled out her instructions.

"Jolee! Go to the medical room. They're going to need you there. Take the two kids with you, that place's safer from the attack. Canderous, go help the fighters. Zaalbar, Juhani, come with me."

The others went and followed their orders without any argument, though Revan could've sworn that she saw Mission stick out her tongue at her. The door to the bridge opened and they saw the officers scrambling around. Revan ran to the middle of the bridge and examined the situation for herself. "Where's the admiral?"

"I'm here." Balsa hurried through the door and he stood beside her. Carth was near the window and along with Zaalbar and Juhani.

A gigantic eagle-like black ship was moving slowly in front of the Republic ship. Small attack spacecrafts emerged from the sides of the enemy's vessel and were heading towards them. Rays of lasers blasted the Republic ship's shielded surface and Revan stumbled along with the others as they tried to keep their balance. The consoles sparked and the lights flickered. Balsa yelled at the top of his lungs.

"Command all attack vessels to defend the Goliath! Now!"

An officer scurried to the nearest console and repeated the command. Soon, Republic attack vessels were shooting back at their enemies.

Revan staggered to the window and Carth steadied her by grabbing her arm. She looked at the black vessel in front of her and noticed a gold insignia painted onto it.

It looked like and eye in a sun.

"They aren't Sith." Carth said the already confirmed. "Who are they?"

Revan shook her head. "I don't know. Shit, they're launching the turbolaser!" A deafening explosion came from the right of the ship. Consoles sparked and the lights fluctuated in the room. Protocol and information driods beeped as they tried to keep their balance.

"The backup engines are down sir!" Another officer informed the admiral. Revan got up to her feet without noticing Carth's protective grip.

"Kal! Retract all the attack vessels!" Carth yelled through the uproar of explosions. Balsa looked at him in disbelief.

"What? You want them to kill us?"

"Just do it!"

"Admiral, please do as Carth says." Revan said.

The admiral grudgingly retracted all the vessels. "You better know what you're doing." The bombardment from the attack vessels of the enemy continued but tapered off after a while upon seeing the lack of retaliation.

They watched the enemy vessel coming nearer to theirs and Revan suddenly saw something through the Force.

"They're vulnerable. They think they've won. The formation of the attack vessels has a weak spot. There." She pointed to the left of the window.

"We've got only one hit Kal. Use the turbolaser." Carth looked at his friend seriously.

Balsa noted the grave look on Carth face and sent out the orders. The turbolaser turret aimed at the enemy and started firing. It hit the giant vessel and a red glow surrounding the ship appeared. The damage done was minimal.

The enemy started firing back at them and the small attack vessels began to rearrange their formation. Revan's eyes darted from here to there and back. Carth did the same. As if they were telepathic, their eyes widened with realisation.

"They're attacking the bridge!"

Revan turned her head back to the admiral and yelled. "Order them to aim at the wing! Send the attack vessels out!"

"Which one?"

"Any one!!" Revan screamed over the cacophony. Just as Balsa yelled out the command they were hit.

A deafening explosion assaulted their ears as the shield gave in and they saw the window shatter. The floor shook and Revan saw it crumble. Tiny slivers of metal and glass scraped past Revan's face as she raised a hand to shield her face. Carth grabbed hold of her and flung her to the floor and he acted as a human shield by covering her body with his. The broken shield restored itself almost immediately and prevented the people inside from being sucked out into space. The sound of the massive bombardment and explosions could be heard for the next few minutes.

Zaalbar moaned and Juhani healed his wounds with the Force.

"Revan?" Juhani looked around for the woman.

"We've got them. They're retreating." Balsa notified everyone when the bombardment stopped. He took out a handkerchief and started wiping off his sweat on his forehead.

Juhani's attention was focused on the two humans and Revan was focusing on the man lying on top of her with a horrified expression on her face. "Carth?" Her voice sounded dry and forced. "Carth."

He was unconscious. Revan could see small slivers of glass protruding from his skin and the wounds bled profusely. She turned her head and saw his almost mangled left hand beside her face. A whispery voice full with hatred suddenly sounded in her head. It was the disembodied voice she heard in the Memorial Hall.

_You win this time, Revan. I'll be back._

Fear and shock struck her hard as she stared at Carth. 'Carth...my fault...again..."

* * *

Jolee listened to the steady beeping sounds of the oscilloscope as he checked Carth's vitals. Dustil had fallen asleep on a chair next to his father's bed and Jolee smiled inwardly. A mild but agitated presence was felt and he frowned. "Just come in, will you? Your pacing around is making my head spin."

A quiet and worried voice replied him. "I don't want to go near him."

"Well, standing out there isn't going to protect him from harm." He stepped out of the medical bay and called after Revan's retreating back. "Lass."

She didn't stop but gestured to him to follow her. Giving a small grunt, he trotted to keep up with her.

"Well?" He asked when they reached her room. Jolee followed her in and shook his head at the mess in it. 'Don't you keep this place clean?"

She gave him an annoyed look. "We were being attacked, remember? The things must've fallen onto the floor when the place shook." She bent down to pick up the things on the floor.

Jolee looked at her with concern when he saw the distraught face. Revan looked like she hadn't slept for days and the circles under her eyes were darker than before. Small specks of blood were visible, creating an effect, which was extremely similar to red flowers on the cold, white surface of Hoth. "Keeping yourself away from him cannot protect him from harm, lass. His injury was not your fault, so stop beating yourself up about it."

Revan stopped in the middle of her cleaning and her silver-grey eyes were set on Jolee. They narrowed into slits. "It was my fault, Jolee. I was supposed to protect him, but it happened the other way. That ship was here to annihilate me. Don't ask me how I know. I just know. If he hadn't tried to protect me he wouldn't be lying on the medical bed now."

The old man kept quiet for a moment. "He promised to protect you, didn't he? He was just fulfilling his promise. And he's fine."

She stood up straight and dropped the things into a footlocker. "It's because of that promise that I'm afraid."

"He loves you. Being afraid for his safety will do nothing to change his mind on protecting you. Staying away from him will not protect him from harm. It'll only pull him closer to you. You saw it for yourself." Jolee rubbed his forehead. "I know what you're trying to do child. You love him too much to be with him."

"You're talking nonsense. Jedi cannot love."

"And Jedi has to wear their robes. Then why aren't you wearing them?"

"I...My identity needs to be concealed."

"Bad excuse kid. You never wore those things unless you felt like it."

Revan kept quiet and sat on the edge of her bed. "I'm an idiot, am I, Jolee? I'm a snappy, ignorant, arrogant idiot, right?" Her eyes stared at the floor.

"Ha, and this old man here thought you didn't know." Jolee chuckled.

The young woman looked at the old man. "If I'm that bad, then why are you so tolerant with me?" Jolee sat by her side.

"Because, I understand what you're trying to do, child. This isn't you, and wasn't you. Sure, you've got some smart retorts sometimes, but being what you just said about yourself isn't you." He patted her on the shoulder. "You're trying to get rid of us, are you?"

"Is it so hard to just leave me alone? Why is everyone so tolerant? I'm not worth any of your love and care. I'm just a formerly corrupted Sith Lord." Revan clenched her hands. She could feel the blood rushing through her veins as the bile of disgust bubbled inside her. "A cold-blooded murderer with no conscience."

"Well, I don't see a cold-blooded psychotic murderer in front of me right now. The others aren't as tolerant as you think they are, lass. Bastila wasn't too happy with your treatment towards her." Revan turned to look at him again.

"You spoke to her?"

"Yes, just after we got comfortable on this ship." Jolee hushed her when she tried to speak again. "The others aren't happy, and they haven't quite figured out what's wrong yet. All they know is that you've changed and for the worse. If I hadn't told them to tolerate you, you'd be bantha burger by now.

"The more you try to protect us, the more hurt you cause. Everyone cares for you, just like how you care for everyone. And you're not that Revan."

Revan groaned and covered her face with her hands. "I still should be flogged."

Jolee frowned at her. "And it isn't like you to fall into the chasms of self-pity and self-thrashing. You're more than that. Where's that Mikha I knew back a few months ago?"

"I'm sorry, Jolee. I've been a damn frustrating spoiled brat, have I?" She shook her head haplessly.

"Well damn right you were! If I'd been as hot blooded as I was when I was younger I'd have given you a good lecture!" The old man piped. "But seeing that what you were trying to do was with good intentions I think I'll spare you just this time."

"I don't want anyone of you to be hurt." She traced a long, uneven scar on her right hand with a finger.

"And how long are you going to keep that masquerade of yours? Don't you feel stiff after all that acting? The Wookiee swore a life debt to you, that means he won't leave you alone, same with the kid there. Juhani thinks of you as a sister, though she's more irritated than Bastila with your stuck-up attitude, but when a Cathar decides who's to be their sister, it's for good."

Jolee took in a deep breath and continued. "The big guy, however, I don't know what he's thinking about, so I can't give any explanations. Bastila accepts you as a bond sister, and a fellow redeemed Dark Jedi. But don't expect her to understand what you're going through, since she's still trying to digest what happened to her. She still has some dark taint in her, and she's angry at you, for telling her off the other day even when she acts as if nothing happened."

Revan never took her eyes off the old man. "How do you know so much of what the others are thinking about?"

"Humph! Don't interrupt me, child." He tapped her on the head and the woman looked at him with narrowed eyes. "And about that Carth. I've loved before, and I know how it feels. He loves you, and will not let you go away as you please. Dustil? The boy doesn't like you, that's for sure. From what I've noticed, he's unsure about you."

"I'm not surprised. I'm sure he thinks that I killed his mother. He's not unsure about me, he hates me."

"Ah, young people nowadays can't think properly. Give him some time."

Revan remained quiet for the next few minutes. Jolee whistled a tune and looked at her at the same time. He decided to speak first.

"He knows, you know."

Revan turned her head towards the old man. "You told him." It was a statement, not a question. Her eyes narrowed once again and her forehead creased.

Jolee glanced at her disapprovingly. "Who do you think I am? Some gossipy housewife holding a feather duster running about telling others about your problems? He's not as dim as you hoped. The lad figured it out himself. He was going to confront you the other day back in the hotel, but I stopped him."

The woman groaned. "Someone please send me to a psychiatric ward. I'm going nuts."

"Relax, kid. Stressing yourself won't do you or the others any good. Being paranoid isn't helping you either." The old man stood up and patted the woman on the shoulder again. "Think about what I said. Hiding isn't going to solve any of your problems. Treat the others like how you treated them before."

"Perhaps I can do that to the others, but not Carth. He's in the medical wing because of me."

Jolee shook his head at the other Jedi. "Just think about what I said. The more you try to protect them, the more hurt you'll bring them."

Revan gave no response, but turned her head to look out of the window. Jolee heaved a sigh and walked out of the room, the door closed with a whoosh.

_I can't do it, Jolee. I just can't bring myself to accept him anymore._

* * *

The attack delayed their arrival by a day and the descent took another two hours. The small carrier from the Goliath transported them to Dantooine and landed in a totally unfamiliar place. Jolee had ordered Carth to stay in the small medical room the carrier had and he had no chance to see Revan.

"She's fine boy. Just a little shaken."

"Are you sure?"

"Carth! If you ask me that question again I'm going to feed you glue to adhere that mouth of yours shut!" The pilot lay back on his bed muttering complaints under his breath.

"Father?" Dustil walked into the room and gave a look of relief. "I thought something had happened since Jolee was yelling."

"Your father's fine, kid. He's just garrulous."

Carth shot him an angry look. "I'm fine, Dus. Are we there yet?"

"Yeah, they're unloading the stuff. Besides us, Revan's the only one on board."

Jolee raised an eyebrow at the remark. "What's she doing on the ship?"

Dustil shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. She's rummaging through her locker and wouldn't let anyone take it out." Carth got up and limped towards the door.

"Hey! Where do you think you're going?" Jolee pulled him back with the Force and smirked.

"Out of this ship, if I might?"

Dustil looked amused at their antics.

"Go out and help them will you?" He turned to his son.

Dustil nodded and left them alone. The two men kept quiet until they heard Dustil walking off the ramp.

"You'd want to be agile son. The attack's sure freaked her out." Jolee packed the remaining med packs into a small box and closed the lid.

Carth looked at the old man curiously. "What do you mean by that?"

"I've no idea what happened in her head, but she started rambling about the attack was meant to kill her. You being injured have given her a good excuse to stay away from you."

The younger man frowned. "I've still got to see how she is right?"

"I told you she's fine. The only problem is her brain has a few screws loose." Jolee looked at the younger man's frowning face. "Ah... go ahead and see her. But don't say I didn't warn you when you get hurt."

Carth almost leapt out of the room and went searching for Revan. He found her sitting on the floor in the meeting room and was doing something to her leg.

"Revan?"

She jerked from her position and looked at him. The surprise and paranoia shone through her eyes and she almost jumped away from him as if he was a contagious disease.

"Yeah?"

His eyes fell to her legs. A trouser leg was turned up and the exquisite dagger she had always carried with her was tied to her left leg. He looked at her hips and his forehead creased with curiosity. "Where's your lightsabre?"

"In my locker."

"What? You're not taking it along with you?"

"Nope. I'm supposed to be a scout, remember? I can't be seen running around carrying a lightsabre." Revan bent down and smoothed down the trouser leg. "I've got to go. The Elders should be waiting for me."

Just before she could leave Carth held out his hand and blocked the doorway. "Are you alright?" She gave him a somewhat awkward smile and replied that she was fine. Revan stopped short when she saw the cuts on his face and his bandaged hand. The guilt and fear flashed across her features. Carth raised a hand and lightly touched a cut. "They're minor wounds, nothing much."

Revan fought back the urge to touch him and simply asked. "I thought Jolee fixed them."

"He exhausted his Force powers by healing earlier patients. I was just knocked out cold, nothing serious." He gave her a boyish smile, hoping that she wouldn't worry too much. To his surprise, Revan gingerly raised her hand and her fingers touched his face.

Carth almost gasped as he felt the surge of Force flowing from her fingertips to his body. He looked at her and saw her staring at his collarbone, concentrating on healing him. The cuts knitted together and Carth suddenly felt revitalised. Something burned inside of him and he felt like a new man. When Revan lowered her hand to her side Carth sighed with reluctance. He yearned for her touch to linger a little longer.

"Th...thank you."

Revan gave him a small smile, "You're welcome," and left him standing there alone.

* * *

The glorious warm fingers of the sun were dimming when Dustil stepped out of the small Republic vessel. The small prominences in the distance were dark compared to the orangey sky. Manta rays soared in the air languidly while small birds fluttered beside them. He thought he could hear a waterfall gurgling not far from where he stood. He breathed in the fresh air and remembered the stale, dry air of Korriban. Unexpectedly, he felt a strong presence in his surroundings and before he could react he heard a voice behind him.

"Beautiful huh?"

He saw Revan unsheathing a viroblade and he froze. _She's going to kill me._

The raven haired woman seemed to have sensed his anxiety and gave him a roguish smile. "What?"

Dustil slowly nodded his head at the blade.

She sighed. "Like father like son. Relax. I'm not that hostile." _Be normal, just like what Jolee said. _Revan stepped next to him and looked at the scenery. "Death coats this land. I can still feel the fear and agony. I prefer this place before it was attacked. The buildings seem out of place now."

The land that stretched out in front of them was almost identical to Dantooine before Malak's attack save for the cluster of buildings to their left. Outrageous shades of red and blue disturbed the serene beauty of the grasslands. A partially ruined enclave was visible in the distance.

Revan's face was grim. Dustil saw her acidity towards the damaged caused to the once beautiful planet. He thought he heard her muttering something under her breath. "I'm going to disembowel Malak the next time I see him."

The people worked busily around the ship and Dustil felt his eyes drooping. _That damn attack robbed me of my sleep!_ His eyes suddenly snapped open.

Something small rushed past him and ran into Revan. "Mikha!" He heard the thing call out. He was about to extract his blaster when he saw the delighted look on Revan's face and the thing that ran into her—a small girl wearing some green traditional Dantooine robes.

"Mikha!" The small child repeated again. Revan lifted her and gave her a wide smile.

"Sasha!" Revan said something else to her in Mandalorian and the little girl nodded her head vigorously. Dustil eyed Revan with speculation. The woman's closeness to a small child was not what he had expected from her. _And why is that kid calling her Mikha?_

"Sasha!" A dark skinned woman frantically searched for the little girl in Revan's arms. Sasha released herself from Revan's hold and ran towards the woman. Carth came down the ramp and saw a blur of green rush pass him.

"Ma!" The child called out.

Carth raised an eyebrow and looked at Revan. "Isn't that?"

"Yup." Revan edged a little further away from him and replied with a nod. "That's our little stowaway."

"Mikha?" The dark skinned woman walked towards her with Sasha by her side. Revan cocked her head to a side before recognising the familiar face the woman had.

"Rahashia?"

"It is you!" Rahashia let go of Sasha's hand and wrapped her arms around Revan's neck. The smile Revan gave her was filled with relief and joy.

"You're alive..." She studied Rahashia and pinched herself. "I thought you'd have been..."

"Dead in the attack made by Malak?" Rahashia shook her head sadly. "Shen and I had left Dantooine for another planet in the outer rim right after you did. Our fathers were not that fortunate."

Revan remembered the star-crossed lovers' scenario Rahashia and Shen had faced during the last time she had been on Dantooine. She looked at the small child who had clung to her own arm and remembered her calling Rahashia "Ma".

"Did she just call you her mother?"

Rahashia smiled sweetly and nodded her head. "Her parents were killed in the attack. The remaining members of the Order found her hiding in the cave somewhere in the groves. Shen and I took pity on her and adopted her as our own child."

Carth stepped closer to Revan and smiled at the child. "That was a very kind thing you did."

"We felt close to her when we met her. It seems that she was brought to us by the Force."

Carth raised his eyebrows at the mention of the word "Force". Dustil noted that Revan had never stopped smiling since she met up with the two. He felt the warmth that radiated from her but shrugged it off. The thought of her being redeemed was alien and unbelievable.

Sasha looked up and asked Revan in broken Galactic Basic. "Ma and Pa marry soon. You come?"

Rahashia slapped her forehead and remarked. "Oh dear! I had been too overjoyed by seeing you again that I forgot to tell you about that. Shen and I are to be wed in three days. Would you and all of your fellow travellers come?"

"You should ask her to be our witness, since she was the one who brought us together dear." A masculine voice came from behind her and Rahashia turned to greet the man. Shen Matale never looked so happy in Revan's memories.

The trio exchanged greetings with Shen and Revan shook her head apologetically at him. "I'm so sorry. I'm afraid that I am here for some official business. My superiors would want me to return as soon as I have finished my task."

"The Goliath won't be fully repaired for another week, from what Kal told me. I suppose we can spare some time to celebrate their happy day with them." Carth glanced down at her. Just before she could open her mouth to object another voice interrupted her.

"A wedding is a happy occasion Mikha. Surely you would not want to disappoint this happy couple?" Juhani purred. Mission happily butted in.

"Yeah! I've never been to a wedding before. You don't want to disappoint them, would you?"

"You have the permission from a master, lass. Go be their ring-bearer or whatever." Jolee gave her a somewhat smug look. Zaalbar growled his agreement in the background. Revan turned to Dustil and the kid looked from her to the others and back to her.

"Uh. Father agrees to stay, I guess I'll go too."

Revan shrugged her shoulders in defeat. _Nine against one. May the Force be with me, yeah right. _A small smile appeared on her lips.

"If you insist."

* * *

Tifa-Carbuncle: Thanks. Glad you liked that part. The tension? Heh, there'll be lots more, I promise.

Janeta siri: I will... that is if the plot bunnies don't desert me at the last minute. :p

Rascarin: Thanks. Me Revan's damn stubborn, that's why.

Lunatic Pandora1: As I quote from Jolee...in a different way. "125? No, no, 139! Uh...next one...12? 16?" Heh... why?

Blackpoolbird: Thanks. Here's the update you've been asking for. :)

Trunx: Yeah, she's prone to being bombed at, huh? But no, those aren't Rakatans.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:** I'm really sorry for this late update.I've started working/ waiting for college to startand have been rather lazy in my updates. To those who are following this, please don't worry, I won't be stopping any of my fics.

After playing KotOR2, I'm going into denial. So any mushy and unrealistic stuff written, please forgive me. The lack of romance, interaction, and the plot holes have rendered me numb and uncreative.

And man, where did everyone go /Looks around/ I can't improve when no one tells me where I've gone wrong, you know.

**BlackpoolBird**: You're welcome! Yup, poor Carth. As for Revan, I don't know… :p But I have plans for her…Rub hands together with an evil smirk. Diabolical plans initiated Muahahahahahahahahaha! And...I apologise for the late update. Very sorry!

**Prisoner24601**: I'm still writing. The only thing is it takes me ages to get a chapter uploaded. Blame it on lazy-me. :p But be rest assured, I'm not giving up on my fics that easily. I'm even cleaning up the first few chapters. My eyes hurt from all the structural problems and stuff. I agree on the baggage part. I never was one to believe in baggage-free relationships, and in Revan's case, hers is even harder to get, considering her past and her ever-growing paranoia. And the situation grows more irritating for Carth.

**CrazyMissSarah: **Thanks! Actually, I haven't...just been late... :p sorry!

* * *

Revan frowned at the Rakatan chattering in front of her and scratched her head in mild frustration. She held up a hand to stop the Rakatan's non-stop jabbering. (Slow down Ek. You're going so fast you could win a swoop bike race.) 

Ek, the said-Rakatan, widened his eyes at her and apologised quickly. (I shall repeat what I said again. The Elders said to wait. There are some things they need to do before talking to you.) His eyes switched to the group standing behind her. Jolee gave a frown similar to Revan's.

"Can we get moving? I'll be dried meat if I stand under this sun for such a long time! An old man can't take such heat."

Revan rolled her eyes at him and smiled at the Rakatan, an indication that she understood what Ek meant. Reluctantly, she turned her attention to the four men standing behind her and gave a small smile. "Guys, go back to the Republic base will you? I think I'll be here a long time."

"What? We follow you all the way here and now you want us to go back? Why, how thoughtful of you, child." Jolee grumbled and sulked. Revan could barely stop herself from narrowing her eyes at the old man in irritation. In return, Jolee gave her a smirk.

"Are you sure? These grounds aren't safe." Carth gave her a worried look before scanning the area around them. Several Kath Hounds were in the distance but posed no threat to the group of sentient.

Revan chose to ignore him. Dustil however was curious.

"Not safe? Why?"

"Kath Hounds inhabit the fields on Dantooine. They're carnivores and those teeth of theirs are sharper than a blade." Canderous provided him with the information. His eyes dropped to a particular spot on her thigh.

Revan pursed her lips at the Mandalorian. "It was just a scratch. No big deal. Please can you guys go now?" Her eyes darted from the Rakatan to them, signalling to them that the Elders did not want them there. The four men nodded and left her standing alone with the Rakatan in front of the Ancient Ruins.

(Take me to them, Ek.) She spoke to the Rakatan in his own tongue again. Ek merely bowed and gestured for her to follow.

* * *

"How did she know how to speak the Rakatan language?" Dustil kicked a stone in front of him. _She could've been up to something. Probably, scheming with those aliens and planning to do something corrupted._

"She knows a lot, alright. That woman picked up my language in just four days by sitting in a room with the kid you saw the other day. She's not that good, but I've got to give it to her. She's damn stubborn." The boy eyed the Mandalorian walking beside Jolee with circumspect.

"But the Rakatan language? We couldn't understand a word they were saying."

"When she was you-know-who she forced Galactic Basic into their heads and their language into hers. She couldn't speak it at first, but that's the result from being at the Jedi Temple for too long. You'd get so bored you'd do anything to make time pass. I saw her sitting in the courtyard learning the language from scratch." Jolee said brightly.

Dustil nodded his head in silence.

Carth kept quiet throughout the conversation, obviously unhappy about Revan pushing him away again. "Father, are you alright?"

"Huh?" Carth jerked. "Uh, I'm fine, son. Just doing some thinking."

"You'd want to watch yourself, son. The Kath Hounds looks more vicious than the last time we were here." Jolee pointed out. "By the way, why are you still here, Canderous? I thought you wanted to get to Tatooine."

Canderous just snorted at him and gave a simple reply. "The attack damaged the ship, which meant it couldn't take me there."

Carth just nodded absent-mindedly and returned to his thoughts. _Perhaps I should write a handbook and call it "1001 ways to get back your girl", eh… no, "Chasing Revan" would be better. What's that woman thinking about staying at the ruins on her own? She'll get hurt like the last time. Crazy woman! _

* * *

The dagger in her hand carved through the wood easily without any difficulties. Dustil couldn't make out the intricate designs, but they fascinated him nonetheless. Revan was too engrossed in her carving to pay any attention to the others in the room. She had tried earlier to lock herself in her room but Mission and Juhani insisted that she join them in the lounge. 

_(Why can't my friends be here? They don't understand your language.) Revan questioned the Elders that stood before her._

_(It is better to be cautious, Revan. We do not trust anyone in this matter.) A Rakatan Elder answered her._

_(You trust me.) She said pointedly._

_(You have proven yourself trustworthy among our kind. The others have not.)_

_She examined the room that she was standing in. The grey walls never seemed so dark before. Six Rakatan Elders titles were gathered in the same room with her, others were busy studying the ruins that were built by their ancestors._

Dustil saw her sigh and frown at the carving. Her hands were deft and small bits of wood fell to her black trousers. She stretched her legs out in front of her and her carving slowed down. The frown on her face grew even deeper.

Back on the giant ship that the Republicans carried us to this planet, the younger ones saw something that made us distrust others.

_(What did they see?) Revan crossed her arms in front of her._

_(A man in a room, fiddling with the dials and buttons on a console. At first they thought that he was just another officer on board doing his duties, but then they noticed that he was the only one in that particular room and the room was unlit. When the bombing on Dantooine started he ran out of the room like a gizka being chased by a Rancor. They never saw him since.)_

_(Are you sure that he was involved with the bombing, and that he is a traitor in the fleet?) She queried the Elder._

_(When the man left, the younger ones found this on the floor.) One of the Rakatan Elder passed a datapad and microchip to her. Revan accepted it and studied it._ Just like any other ordinary datapads and chips. What's the specialty in it?

_(Examine them, if you will. We did not touch them since your technology is somewhat alien to us. They might provide you with the information needed.)_

_Revan kept her silence for some time before speaking again. (Do you have any description of this man you speak of?)_

_One of the Elders nodded her head vigorously at her. (Yes, yes. The younger ones saw his face.) She waved a hand at a few younger Rakatans and they hurried towards them. They gave Revan the description of the suspected traitor and she took down what they told her in her own datapad._

_An hour later she took her cue to leave. One Elder stopped her and Revan gave him a weary smile. (Yes? Elder Rin?)_

_(Please remember this Revan. Tell what we told you only to those who you trust with your life. If even a Republic officer can betray his own people, anyone else can do the same.)_

_Revan bowed politely at the Elder. (I understand, Elder. I know what to do now. Thank you.)_

Revan stopped her carving and stared at the bare wall in front of her. Dustil continued on studying her.

"Can't take your mind off something, hmm, child?" Jolee raised his eyebrows at Revan. The Twi'lek sitting opposite him dropped her pazaak deck onto the table and waited for her to reply the old Jedi's question. Hmm? Just leave it? I have no idea too.

The woman Jedi gave him a speculating look and smirked at him. Standing up, the specks of wood fell from her to the ground.

"Nothing really. Excuse me, I need to get my beauty sleep." Revan replied to him jokingly.

Jolee snorted at her remark and Mission gave her an amused look.

"Afraid of getting wrinkles?" Mission teased.

The older woman gave no answer but simply waved at her over her shoulder. The pazaak deck in front of Mission levitated and smacked her gently on the face.

"OW!" The Twi'lek got up and threw the deck back at Revan, who dodged just in time and with a laugh.

Dustil sniggered at Mission and she shot daggers at him. A datapad came flying at him and he ducked just in time to avoid it.

* * *

"What did I do?" 

"And a press here…" Revan nearly cried out in frustration when the datapad she held in her hands gave a loud negatory beep.

T3 stirred and gave her a long string of beeps. She looked at him with a frown and rubbed her temples.

"I've been trying to decipher the code on this bloody damn thing for the past three hours and nothing happens! Nothing!" She growled in irritation.

The droid beeped at her again and she looked at it in disbelief.

"I'm so stupid. Why didn't I think of you?" She got up quickly and handed the datapad to T3.

The droid whirred for a moment and the datapad popped out of it onto the floor.

"Thanks, T3."

The device showed her an insignia and she studied it. _It's so familiar… Where the hell have I seen this? _Revan chose to ignore the symbol and went on examining the datapad. Her frown grew deeper when she read the contents.

"Deactivating system code: AX45485425346PFG365784

Deactivating system time: 15:55"

_Deactivation codes…what is this?_

She flipped through the screens again and her eyes widened at a message.

_"Do what you have to do on the aforementioned time. It will be yours_."

_It will be yours? What is this supposed to mean?_

Revan turned off the device and examined the cover. She found a name engraved on to it. _Klyrat, Cett._

_He should be a Republic soldier._

"You can't sleep?" A young masculine voice interrupted her thoughts. Revan turned her head at the source of the voice and smiled.

"Yeah. I don't sleep that long." Dustil…why are you awake?

They boy joined her at the window seat and sat opposite to her. He tried hard to find the words to say. "Uh…nice moons huh?" He avoided looking at her face. The small bubble of anger began to grow bigger and bigger as he stayed in the same room with her, alone.

Revan nodded and looked out of the window too.

"They came out late tonight. That's the indication to the farmers that the Harvest should be near."

Dustil's head turned to her. "The Harvest?"

"It's the time of the year when all farmers starts harvesting their crops. In the past the people used to do ceremonies to welcome the day of Harvest during the night and get themselves drunk. That brought too much trouble when the people started attacking their neighbours because they ran out of alcohol. The authorities banned the ceremonies when five families got killed in the attacks. The Harvest was never celebrated ever since." Dustil saw that she kept her gaze on the moons while she spilled the knowledge to him.

_Why the hell is she telling me this? And why does she know so much?_

"People get drunk when they get bored, I read." Her gaze returned to his face.

Dustil was shocked at her sudden statement. _She read my mind?_

"You read my mind?" His brown eyes widened at her.

The black-haired woman in front of him chuckled and shook her head.

"Nah, could never do that. Just figured it out since your eyes are almost popping out of their sockets." She smirked and the boy blinked a couple of times.

The two remained quiet for the next few minutes.

"So…" Dustil attempted at beginning a conversation. "I heard Mission saying that you…lost your memories." His hand tugged at the hem of his shirt.

He had expected the woman to get angry or slightly agitated. But when he saw the faint smile on her face surprise besieged him. _You're very good at acting Revan. But you can't fool me. You killed my mother._

"Yes. I don't remember my past, and was provided with a false one." Revan leaned her head on the wall and the smile stayed on her face.

Dustil shifted uneasily in the seat and tried to smile at her.

"I'm…sorry for asking." _Why do I even bother to apologise?_

She faced him and pursed her lips. "Don't be. I'm fine with it." The silence returned to the room.

The thoughts and questions in his mind swirled around in a maelstrom. His curiosity mingled with the fear and hatred that he had for Revan and he thought twice before asking her again. "Are you really fine with it? I mean, not being able to remember anything from your past must be frustrating."

Revan's silver-grey eyes bore into his before she answered his question.

"It can be frustrating at times, when people know more about you than yourself." Her gaze hardened as she continued. "But would you wish to remember a past like mine, that's tainted with treachery, lies, death—anything that is dark and sinister?"

"I…I think not." I shouldn't have asked her about this. She's depressing me.

"I don't think so either. It's not easy living with a past such as mine."

Dustil dared another question. "How can you feel guilt for something that you don't remember doing? Like bombing planets into submission!" His voice rose at the end of his sentence. Realisation streaked across his face but he refused to apologise. You destroyed my homeworld. It's no way I'm going to apologise.

Revan raised an eyebrow at his sudden outburst. To his great annoyance, she looked at the intricate illustrations on the ceiling and replied to him without a change in her tone. "Guilt, can haunt a person at any given time. I can't remember, but I'm neither deaf nor blind. I hear what others say about me, and I see the results of what I have done."

Dustil couldn't speak. His eyes flared with anger as he glared at the woman sitting in front of him. Revan lowered her head to look at him again.

"Many would tell you that it was not my fault that your planet was destroyed. I would say otherwise."

Still he wouldn't speak. Dustil decided that she was not going to get the satisfaction on being able to make him mad. He chewed on his lower lip as his anger grew inside of him.

"Malak was the one who gave orders, Saul was the one who carried it out. But I was the one responsible for the two of them. Without me, meant that the Sith wouldn't have returned, and many planets wouldn't be obliterated. Without me, Malak may not have turned to the dark side. All I can now is to live on and live with the sins of my past, and do my best to reduce the pain I have caused by helping others. "

"You expect forgiveness?" He sounded venomous through his gritted teeth. The tension in the air grew thicker by the second and to his dislike, Revan remained calm and cool. Her eyes were fixed on him and he felt the urge to gouge them out. _You damn murderer!_

"No. Nothing of that sort. I don't deserve it, not even after saving the galaxy." Revan looked out of the window, her tone never wavering. "Hate me if you must. I don't have the right to demand that you don't. My conquering days have passed."

His brown eyes widened with astonishment. He looked at her hands that were laid gently on her lap. _These are the hands that killed so many. The hands that are tainted with death…tainted with my mother's death… Mother…_ Dustil felt the rage overwhelm him. His hatred towards her poured from his heart as he remembered those who suffered because of her. As swiftly as he tried, he stumbled with the short blade, which was left beside the window seat, and he brought it near to her throat.

"You killed my mother!" He hissed through his teeth as the blade threatened to penetrate the black choker and into her throat. Revan didn't even blink. She slowly turned her head to face him and she seemed…serene. "You should've died a miserable death when Malak betrayed you!"

"I won't blame you."

His hands shook violently as he tried to hold the blade in its position. His feelings raged through him like a stampede of banthas. The things in his mind swirled and made him nauseous.

"Calm down, boy." Jolee's voice was low and cautious. The old man held out a hand as if attempting to transmit calmness into the boy's mind. Dustil's breathing became louder and the blade began cutting into the choker.

_"Revan didn't bomb Telos into a junkyard. Malak did. Saul did. Please calm down and listen."_ Mission's voice suddenly echoed in his head. Dustil shook his head to forget what she had said.

"You don't want to do this, boy."

"Let him be Jolee. He has the right to do so." Revan said without looking at the old man. Jolee shook his head disapprovingly at her.

"Now don't you get all suicidal, lass."

"I'm not." Her tone was plain, flat, and emotionless.

Dustil glared at the two Jedi for daring to squabble even when he was trying his hardest to drive the blade into her neck.

_"She didn't bomb Telos, Dustil. She blew up lots of planets before but she didn't blow up Telos. She's a completely different person now."_

Dustil shook his head. _Shut up, Mission. She caused me too much pain for me to forgive her._

"_Hey! Then what about you? You were a Sith too. I can swear to you that she's totally different now. Look, if it wasn't for her, you'd still be a cocky Sith idiot walking around in Korriban! And I've got one question for you. If she can't even remember her past, how can she still be Revan?"_

He snapped out of his fury._ She was right. Who am I to judge Revan? She saved me from suffering the same fate as her…_ He looked at the woman in front of him in. The rage and anger died down. _But this hate…it'll never go away. Not when she's still alive. I can't kill her…_

Dustil slowly lowered the blade and let it fall with a small thud. Jolee heaved a sigh of relief. Revan maintained her expressionless composure.

The young man turned to look at the old man and saw that a Force shield had been raised to shut out the shouting. He turned to face Revan again and saw the she was looking out of the window, acting as if nothing had happened.

"I…I'm sorry." Dustil choked on the words reluctantly. The old man moved closer to them and he knelt to check Revan's neck. She waved irritably at Jolee and the old man gave her soft whack on her head.

"It's alright, Dustil." The black haired woman looked forgivingly at him. "I would've done the same too if I were you. It's hard to forgive." Jolee tried to pry the choker away from her again and received a whack on his head in return. "I'm fine, old man."

Jolee growled at her and stood up. "Don't come running to me if that NT-S23 of yours malfunctions. I just wanted to check if it was still intact."

"I would be like a fish gasping for air by now if Dustil really damaged it." Revan replied indignantly at him. She turned to the young man and gave him a small smile. "Go get some sleep. We've probably got a long day tomorrow."

_Forgiveness. _Dustil thought. _Forgiveness from her even when I tried to kill her. You're a good actress, witch, that I'll give you. _He nodded his head in agreement. Jolee held the boy gently on the arm and led him out of the room.

"Go get some sleep yourself, lass. You're delirious."

Revan chuckled and waved the two away. The old man led the boy out while his lectures rambled on. Dustil stopped at the door and shot her a look. "This doesn't mean I've forgiven you. I'll be watching you." Jolee grunted in disapproval at Dustil's attitude and Revan gave him a nod and a small smile. Once the two where out of sight, Revan's smile faded and she closed her eyes. She got up and went to the 'fresher.

The mirror reflected her pale face and hollow eyes. _I look like crap._ Gently taking off the choker on her neck, she saw a decent cut next to the NT-S23 bleeding. She called to the Force, and watched the cut heal. _I'm surprised, Dustil. That you waited this long to seek revenge._ _But in the end,_ _you couldn't do it. Just like you father. Too soft, even when your past has hardened you. _

* * *

With a hiss, the door to the Republic quarters opened and a cold morning breeze greeted her. She stepped out from the quarters and began her stroll towards the fields. A pack of Kath hounds were snoozing around in the distance and the manta rays had just started their morning hunt. 

Just as she walked out of the fenced area she felt a strong presence. Her hand went immediately to her sides, reaching for the absent lightsabre. "Shit." Instinctively her hand went for the dagger hidden beneath her trouser leg.

"Hello, Revan."

Revan turned around, and her eyes widened with surprise.

"You…"

Blame FFnet for the change of to ( )...It's not working...


	12. Chapter 12

Sorry for the late update. Same excuse used so many times. I think I won't bother explaining myself again. But one thing is for certain, I DO NOT plan on dropping any of my stories, so don't worry. They'll all go on. Just the updates are slower. Anyways, hope ya all enjoy this. Constructive criticism welcomed.

* * *

"Yuthura…"

A purple Twi'lek in normal Jedi robes stood smiling before her. Revan relaxed almost immediately and she sheathed the blade she had taken out in a hurry.

"You don't plan on killing me, do you Revan?" Yuthura had an elegant hand on her hip and her eyes sparkled at the human. Revan chuckled lightly and walked towards the Twi'lek.

"Wouldn't dream of it." Revan's smile was brighter than the rising sun. "First things first. Please don't call me Revan out in the open, I wouldn't want the whole Dantooine coming for my head, and I don't want to hurt anyone."

"Very well then, Mikha." Yuthura nodded with a smile.

"Thank you."

The two women stood there looking at each other and smiling. Finally Yuthura made the first move to talk. "So, it's true." Revan nodded and started walking towards the fields. Yuthura followed suit. "I'm not surprised. When you were at the academy I sensed that you were extraordinarily strong in the Force, so strong that you even threatened me."

Revan turned towards her and smirked. "I'm not that intimidating, am I?"

Yuthura smiled again and shook her head. "No, not when you're not fighting." She raised a hand and rubbed her abdomen. "You gave me quite a scar here."

The human raised an eyebrow at the Twi'lek. "I'm sorry about that." Yuthura waved dismissively at her.

"It remains as a reminder of my past and as a reminder for me not to repeat it. Actually, I should thank you for it."

"You have already thanked me, Yuthura. There is no need for repeats. I'm just glad that you're alive and well, even after all those attacks." Revan walked slowly on the grassy fields. "How did you survive?"

"As luck would have it. I had followed my master to Alderaan for some political business a week before the attack. In fact, a lot of those who were from Dantooine survived the attack. The main bombarded areas were where the Jedi Enclave was. The surroundings recovered some time later, but nothing remained the same."

Revan looked at the changed landscape before. It was true that nothing was the same anymore. The hills were no longer familiar to her, nor was the once flat terrain. Craters, big and small, were distributed across the lands and the original trees were no longer there. Small saplings sprouted from the ground, and waved their tiny heads at her. The trees that were around were imported from other planets to ensure the balance of nature.

"I thought the Republic base was attacked too." Revan tilted her head towards the quarters that she left earlier.

"It was. The quarter area you are staying in now are actually residential areas built for the people, but was used later as the temporary Republic base while the other one is being rebuilt." Yuthura explained to her. Revan nodded her head at the information.

"I suppose Master Zhar and Master Dorak didn't make it." Revan's voice was laced with a hint of grief. Zhar was the one who trained her in Dantooine, and Dorak the joyous one who always greeted her with a smile. As much as she blamed and disliked the Council for hiding her past from her, she still couldn't feel resentment towards that two particular Masters. To her, their treatment towards her was genuinely friendly. Among all the Jedi masters she had met, she felt closest to Zhar.

"It was almost impossible to run from the attacks, from what I heard from the survivors." Yuthura kicked a small stone on the ground. "My master and I are trying to help the victims overcome their grief. But it isn't easy at all."

"Nothing is supposed to be easy." Revan chewed on her lower lip. _Heck, just look at my life. Difficult isn't even the right word to describe it. Let me see, problematical? Kind of. Demanding? Yeah, sure. Arduous? Yup. Gruelling? Definitely._

Yuthura nodded again. "I suppose you are right."

"Speaking of helping others, how's your Jedi training doing?" Revan decided it was time to change the subject.

"It's going well. I am able to control my anger better than I did before. I never realised how bad was the decision I made when I became a Sith. Being who I am now…I feel more at ease with myself." A warm smile spread across Yuthura's face. "My master and I are trying our hardest to fight against slavery. So far we're doing a little better than we had expected."

Revan smiled softly. "That's good to hear, Yuthura."

Yuthura hesitated for a moment before she spoke. "There's something I need to tell you, Mikha. The Council ordered me to keep an eye on you when the other two Jedi Knights returned to Coruscant."

Revan glanced at the Twi'lek and her upper lips twitched upwards. "I know, Yuthura. You didn't need to tell me."

The Twi'lek looked at her with slight amusement. "I knew you would have known. But how did you know?"

"It's just a guess, really. When we last met on Dantooine, even I had no idea of who I was, so no one could've told you. When you approached me just now you called me by that name, which is quite unlikely for you to know since you have been busy running about saving slaves." Revan sounded lazy and casual.

"And you must've been in a great hurry to follow me since you forgot your lightsabre." Her eyes fell onto the Twi'lek's hips.

Yuthura glanced at her own hips and gave a hearty laugh. "You are right indeed. How foolish of me to have forgotten it." Revan smiled again and she stopped walking. Her eyes darted at her surroundings and she took in a deep breath. The sun was up and its golden fingers touched the surface.

A couple of beeps broke the serenity of the landscape around the two women. Revan frowned and unhooked her communicator from her belt. The screen flickered to life and an agitated Jolee emerged on the screen.

"Lass! Where are you?"

"On Dantooine, where else?" Revan replied sarcastically.

"Now don't you get smart with me kid." Jolee growled at her. Yuthura raised an eyebrow at the two of them. "You should've left us a note telling us where you went!"

"I'm just having a stroll. Stop being all apprehensive and stuff, old man." Revan growled jokingly back.

"Ah whatever. Get your ass back here right now. There's a call from Coruscant for you. Those old coots want to speak to you, especially the old-green-wrinkly one." The old man sounded more and more agitated. It seemed quite obvious that he had had an unpleasant conversation with the Masters.

Yuthura suppressed a laugh and Revan chuckled. "Old-green-wrinkly one? There must be a story behind that. I'm coming back now." Jolee huffed at her and the screen went off. Revan turned towards Yuthura and gave her a weary smile. "Would you like to accompany me back to the quarters? Since you're supposed to "keep an eye" on me."

The Twi'lek let out a small laugh and placed a hand on Revan's shoulder. "Sure."

* * *

"Where did you say she was Jolee?" Carth paced up and down the lounge with a frown on his face. The others were nowhere to be seen save for the old Jedi and the agitated pilot. "Senator Alme threatened to send the entire fleet after her if she doesn't appear in time!"

Jolee snorted at the pilot. "The overgrown gizka can't do anything to her. Not when she's just having a stroll." He polished his lightsabre hilt while sitting comfortably on the couch. Carth shot him an annoyed look and kept on with his pacing.

"You don't know Alme. He is very influential in the Senate and is famous for his hatred towards the Sith. And Revan's the original Sith Lord." His frown grew deeper. The front door suddenly opened with a whoosh and Revan stepped in with a purple Twi'lek. Revan introduced Yuthura to Jolee and Carth eyed her suspiciously when she turned her back to him.

"The Council is waiting for you, lass." Revan nodded at the old man and went into a small room alone. She closed the door and stood before a console. The screen flickered to life and she saw Master Vandar and Admiral Dodonna's face.

"Good morning, Master Vandar, Admiral." The Jedi bowed slightly at them. _The perfect little Jedi reporting…_

"Good to see that you're well, Revan. We heard about the attack on the Goliath. Are the others fine?" Master Vandar questioned her, and didn't mention anything about the over-suspicious senator who had been threatening to send an army to look for her.

"I thank you for your concern on the behalf of my friends, Master. They are well. Commodore Onasi suffered some slight injuries, but nothing more serious." She stopped herself from chewing on her lower lip when she mentioned Carth. _Not in front of them. Not when they're looking._

"I assume that you're here for information from my conversation with the Elders, yes, Master?" Revan tilted her head to a side.

"Yes we are, Knight Revan. We were told that you visited them yesterday. Have you found any sort of information?" Admiral Dodonna spoke before Vandar could. Her eyes bored into Revan's, hoping for some answers.

_You're going to be disappointed, lady._

"I'm afraid I cannot speak of what the Elders have told me, Admiral. I hope you will understand, since the circumstances here are, ah, how should I put it, inconvenient." Revan's brows rose as she tried to indicate the level of secrecy of the matter. Master Vandar nodded and so did the Admiral, as they understood her meaning. The admiral looked somewhat disappointed.

"Very well then. We shall speak again when you return to Coruscant." Master Vandar kept nodding his head.

"Master Vandar?"

"Yes, child."

"I don't know if Master Jolee has told you of this, but I am supposed to attend a wedding. May I have the permission to go?" Revan tried to ask as politely as she could. She didn't want to let Rahasia and Shen down, since the couple were so eager to have her attend their wedding.

Vandar looked at her and then at the admiral. "Master Jolee has informed me of that matter. And yes, you may go, but please return once the Goliath is repaired. We have to continue on with the investigation as soon as possible. I fear that the enemy isn't going to stop just at Dantooine."

The Knight sighed. "Thank you, Master Vandar. I will return as soon as I can." She bowed slightly again and bid the two farewell. The master and admiral returned the farewell and the screen flickered off.

Revan sat on a chair and massaged her neck. The door opened and Carth walked in. His brown eyes darted from the console to her. _Great, I shouldn't be near him._ The woman got up to leave and unsuccessfully tried to get away from Carth. The man had blocked the half opened doorway with his body and the only way through was to run into him. "That was fast. I thought they had a lot to talk about."

"They did, but I'm not talking to them about the matter here." Revan kept her distance from Carth by a few feet. "It's not safe."

Carth saw her awkwardness being near him and he cleared his throat. "Look, I am not going to do anything." He cleared his throat again.

"I know." Her voice was barely a whisper. _It hurts me as much as it hurts you, my love. Forgive me. _

The man shifted uneasily on his spot. "So, you can tell me about what the Rakatans said, right? I mean, I'm also a part of this mission."

Revan gave him a small smile. "You know I can't…yet. The Elders have told me to be careful. But this doesn't mean I don't trust you, I just don't trust these walls." She gestured to her surroundings.

"Heh, now you're the one with trust issues." Carth said jokingly. Revan shook her head in slight amusement.

"Right." The console beeped again and Revan turned the thing on. "Rahasia! Good morning!"

Rahasia's face beamed at Revan. "Can you help me with the preparations, Mikha?"

"I'd love to. I'll be right over."

* * *

Grass covered the once scorched land and swayed in the wind. The birds chirped high up in the trees and the children giggled as they ran around the chairs. Carth hurried to the reception while trying to pin his badges into place.

"_We should be able to take off in another two days. Thank the Force for the newly deveoped shields, or we wouldn't have even lived through that attack." Balsa walked beside Carth at the former loading port; which had become an uneven piece of wasteland since the attack. The scorched academy and Republic base were a mere few hundred feet away and Balsa shook his head at it._

He turned his head from left to right, and frowned when he couldn't spot any of his friends. Dustil came up to him from behind and helped his father with the badges. "Thanks. Where are the others, Dus?"

"The women are helping out the bride; Jolee is with Shen; The Mandalorian said he didn't want to come. The Wookiee is at the food table." Dustil's head nodded towards a table laden with food and Zaalbar was standing at one corner, gobbling down as much as he could. The guests stared at him in disbelief.

"_Aren't the authorities here going to rebuild the base and academy?" Carth asked the admiral. They walked closer to the ruins and a charred beam fell. Balsa stopped Carth from walking any closer._

"_I don't know. Perhaps they are." Balsa hesitated for a moment. "Carth, tell me, what do you think of the attack?"_

_Carth immediately understood his friend. "It has nothing to do with her, Kal. Don't even suggest it."_

_Balsa scratched the back of his head. "I'm sorry pal. I'm not implying that she is involved in the attack, what I am trying to say is, would the attack have been meant for her?"_

_Almost every muscle in the younger man's body tensed. _Could it have been meant for her? _"What makes you think so, Kal?" His eyes bored into his friend's._

"Father?" Carth snapped out of thoughts. "They are here. We should get to our seats."

He followed his son and sat in the second row. The music changed and all the guests turned their heads to see the bride. Shen tugged at his collar nervously and his best man teased him.

Rahasia looked sweet and demure in her peach coloured gown. Her veil flapped softly with the wind and Mission was tailing behind her, acting as a bridesmaid. Revan was nowhere to be seen.

"_I…uh…it's just a hunch. Don't get mad at me. Look, she's, you know, that woman…"_

"_She's not her anymore, Kal. She's a totally different person." Carth voice sounded grim, very grim._

"_Carth, that's her past. From my years of experience in the Republic, I understand how the enemy's mind works. Many will come for her blood, knowing that she is still alive."_

"_Then how do you explain this?" Carth shook his finger irritably at the ruins. "Why did they attack this place? She wasn't here."_

_Balsa kept quiet immediately. "That, I don't know, pal. That I don't know."_

"_I'm sorry for yelling at you, Kal. Let's just…just not talk about this, okay?" Balsa nodded and the two men walked back to their quarters._

Revan suddenly appeared with a grouchy looking Sasha in her arms. It seemed to Carth that she was coaxing the child gently and whatever she had been saying to child was working—Sasha smiled and gave her a big hug. Revan stood next to a pergola and watched the couple being wedded with a smile on her face.

_If she had accepted me, we would've been the ones to be married first. I don't understand you Revan. We could've been so happy together._

_

* * *

_

When the couple finished exchanging their vows, the sun had begun to set and the sky turned a brilliant shade of orange. The guest moved to the dining gazebo and Carth followed the crowd. Zaalbar claimed a quarter of the food as his and was sitting in a corner where Mission was telling him off.

Dustil was talking to a girl of his own age under a tree while Jolee and Juhani were talking to Shen and Rahasia. His eyes darted around searching for Revan. _Where is she?_ Then he saw a black haired figure in a peach coloured dress.

_There she is…_

"Mikha." He walked over to the woman and tapped her on the shoulder. The woman turned to look at him and Carth nearly jumped backwards. The person looking at him was a man in a garment, which resembled a dress. With his face turning red, Carth apologised quickly and almost ran away. _You're getting old, Onasi…_

He walked about for a while and he finally spotted her. Revan was sitting in a chair right under a tree. In her arms she cradled a sleeping Sasha and her eyes were fixed on the setting sun. She was humming a soft lullaby as he walked nearer to her.

"She's asleep?" Carth asked as softly as he could. Revan looked up at him and nodded.

"Can you carry her? My arm's getting numb." Carth stepped in front of her and lifted the child away from her.

"Thanks." Revan rubbed her arm and tried to stretch it, but cringed when the pain hit her.

"I'll take her back to the house."

Revan nodded gratefully at Carth and watched the man walk away with the little girl. _If only things were different, if only I'm not Revan…_

She got up and started walking out onto the fields. The music and laughter grew fainter and fainter as her distance from the gazebo grew bigger. She gazed longingly at the manta rays flying high up in the skies, wishing that she were as free as them. In the distance, electric shields were raised to prevent the Kath Hounds from hurting the guests. Revan went next to one of the projectors and listened to the humming sounds.

"You're not joining the others at the dinner?"

"I'm not hungry yet." Revan turned to look at the person speaking to her. "I thought you were enjoying a little chat with that fair young lady just now. "

Dustil turned and glanced at the gazebo far away in the distance. "She went home with her father." He looked at Revan again and raised an eyebrow. "Why are you here?"

"Strolling."

"I can see that."

"Then why did you ask?" Revan watched the boy through a sideward glance. The sky was getting dark and the orange glow started to fade. Dustil never took his eyes off her and hesitated for a moment before speaking.

"Don't you feel any hatred towards me? I mean...I nearly killed you."

Revan smiled and shook her braided head at him. "No. Even if you did slit my throat I wouldn't blame you. After all, I'm the one who gave you that much pain."

Dustil remained quiet. _Damn you for being so forgiving. _He watched the woman standing in front of him looking at the rising moons. Just as he was going to question her again, Revan suddenly became alert and her eyes snapped wider. "What's wrong?"

"Run."

"Why?" He began to feel worried, but couldn't help feeling mad at Revan for 'ordering' him. The boy didn't need to hear her reply; two burly figures emerged from their stealth shields and advanced towards the duo.

"Dustil, run!" Revan duck from a blaster bolt and crouched. A gleaming cutlass-like blade emerged from under her dress and she managed to parry a blow from an assailant's vibrosword. Dustil stood rooted on the spot, shocked at the sudden attack.

He flinched when he saw a blade come down at him. He couldn't move, all the time he had spent in Korriban was attacking and harming others. Uthar had hardly ever taught him how to prepare himself if there was an attack. Revan came flying to him and blocked the blade. The blade slid from hers and cut her precisely on the thigh. "Why are you standing here for? Run!"

_She saved me._

Revan slit the man's throat and parried another blow from a different attacker. Three figures were fighting her and Dustil hesitated before running back to the gazebo. He looked over his shoulder as he ran and saw Revan somersaulted and brought her blade down to an attacker's head.

_Hurry, Dustil…_

He ran as fast as he could and almost stumbled on a rock. He turned his head to look at her again, and saw her bend her back to avoid the slashing blade. The gazebo grew bigger as he ran nearer to it. His voice was stuck in his throat and he couldn't shout. Everyone at the dinner was oblivious to the attack out in the fields; save for three Jedi who perked up when they felt the boy's presence.

"What's wrong, kid?" Jolee's eyes gazed at the panting boy intensely.

"Someone…attack…she's out there…alone!" Dustil was doubled over and wheezing badly. Carth walked over to him and grew pale when he heard of the attack. _Rev!_

"We've got to help her!" He ran to a speeder and grabbed a pair of viroblades from under the seats. Not waiting for others, he ran towards the direction where Revan and Dustil were ambushed.

_Please be all right, please be, Rev, please…_

The others followed him and they ran as fast as they could. The twin moons were high above their heads and they illuminated the surface on Dantooine.

As they ran closer to the spot, Carth's heart almost stopped when he saw and heard nothing. Everything was in silence. No figures dancing around each other or cries of battle were seen nor heard.

Everyone stopped in their tracks when they reached the place. Pools of blood glimmered on the ground and the bodies of the enemies that Revan had struck down before Dustil ran back for help were gone; so was Revan.

_She's not dead… she's not dead…she's not dead…_

He stood there while a tremor ran down his spine. The three words were the only things running through his mind, and he shivered.

_Revan…_


End file.
